The Red Mirror
by Andrew Joshua Talon
Summary: Faced with imprisonment and possible death, the Kyuubi embarks on a desperate gamble to free itself. Uzumaki Naruto? Meet Uzumaki Naruto.
1. Red Versus Blue

The Red Mirror

_A Naruto Fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz, and other companies, and it's creator is Kishimoto Masashi. I am not writing this for profit._

_Take a concept from one manga, and take it for a spin and twist in another…_

- - - - - - -

Lightning and wind were cousin forces. The energy from the storm could only be brought about by changes in air pressure, which resulted in wind, and the power of wind could kick up great amounts of static. It is no surprise that joined together, wind and lightning would result in violence. It is altogether fitting that a battle between former best friends, one trying to save the brother he never had, the other trying to push away the brother he wished he'd had, would have lightning and wind meeting together in a tumultuous climax.

Against the background of falling water, kitsune and ogre met, the elemental forces at their command struggling, crackling, screaming against eachother as the attack bearing their power were called out.

_"CHIDORI!"_

_"RASENGAN!"_

The energy release of two such powerful weapons meeting was immense, blanketing the surrounding area in light and storm. The overcast sky seemed to grow even dimmer in the light of the primordial forces meeting.

Naruto Uzumaki snarled.

Sasuke Uchiha roared.

The attacks gave up, and the two adversaries were catapulted towards eachother in an endless moment, neither finding the heart to kill their friend.

There was only a hard knock to the back of his head as the shadow of his friend faded, and Naruto knew nothing more.

_Sasuke..._

_"Hahahaha..._"

The world returned, and Naruto opened his eyes. The sky remained overcast, yet without the angry storm clouds of before, testament to his struggle. Equally unfamiliar was the silence that filled the air. The waterfall was gone, so too was the river.

_Sasuke...?_

He rose from the ground, blue eyes looking around. They grew wider, the scene before the blonde at once familiar... And foreign.

_Ichiraku's?_ He thought, the ramen stand in plain sight. He rose to his feet, sandals providing unsure traction to his suddenly weak legs.

"How... How'd I get here?"

Looming out of fog above him stood the four carved faces of the former Hokage, silent sentinels to an equally silent Konohagakure. Naruto looked everywhere, ears keen to the slightest sound. There was nothing, the mists giving away only shadows of the village.

"What the hell is going on?" Naruto called out.

_"Heheheheheh..."_

"Who's there?! Show yourself!" The blonde shouted defiantly. Footsteps signaled the approach of someone from behind, and Naruto turned to meet the observer.

Through the dense fog that covered every part of the village as far as he could see, Naruto made out a familiar figure. He stared in disbelief as he came close enough to be identified.

"Yo."

Naruto stared, and in turn received a grin back from himself. Though like Konoha, his double was not quite right. The smile he wore was predatory, canines gleaming in the dim light.

"What the... What's going on?"

"I don't blame you for being confused," the other Naruto said. "After all, a few knocks to the head will make anyone confused. Especially you."

"Yeah... Hey!" Naruto scowled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said, Naruto," the other said.

"Look, just cut the bullshit, where are we?" Naruto demanded.

"Don't recognize it? I have to admit, there's been some... Remodeling," the other Naruto said. He pointed to the north, away from the Hokage Monument. "Look over there."

Naruto turned and gazed where his double indicated, eyes squinting. Through the fog, he could just make out a vague series of shapes, all column like and stretching high into the clouds above. In the center was a huge sign, an unquestionably familiar symbol upon it.

"The... The seal...?" He asked. The other Naruto nodded.

"Yep... How do you like my recreation of Konoha? I like it. Kind of dreary right now, but I intend to change that," the other Naruto said.

Naruto couldn't help but hear the ominous note in his double's voice, and he stared intently at him.

"Change it?"

The other Naruto grinned, teeth becoming sharper and more pronounced. His eyes turned blood scarlet, and his whisker marks more deeply defined. Naruto gaped, one word coming to his mind.

"Kyuubi...?"

"Sort of," the Other said. He snickered. "It's funny really... It wouldn't have gotten to this point, if you didn't suck so hard."

"What?!" Naruto growled. "I do not suck!"

"Oh please," the Other snorted. "We could spend all day counting the ways you suck, but I want to get this out of the way as fast as I can." His grin widened. "But! I guess I owe ya a little, Idiot."

The Other Naruto dashed forward, slamming a punch into Naruto's stomach before he could react. Doubled over, Naruto gasped for breath just in time for the back of the Other's hand to collide with his face, sending him sprawling.

"Just relax, Idiot," the Other said cheerfully. "I'm taking over so you don't have to worry about anything!"

"Oh yeah?!" Naruto shouted, throwing a salvo of kunai at his double. The Other dodged easily and leaped up into the air, sending a flurry of shuriken right back. Naruto rolled, avoiding the projectiles before being forced to block his double's kunai.

"Yeah! I can't be too powerful though! Your body can't handle it! So, I've only got as much chakra as you do," the Other explained, forced into the defensive as Naruto got back up and began striking furiously. He kept up his grin as he blocked the blue eyed blonde's attack.

"Ha! Then that means I'm going to kick your ass!" Naruto shouted back, lashing out with a fist for the Other's cheek.

His punch was caught, and the Other just shook his head.

"You really don't get it, do ya Naruto?"

A knee to Naruto's gut followed, and a harsh uppercut to his jaw. Naruto slammed back first onto the ground with a groan, as his double calmly smirked.

"You're not going to win this," the Other said.

"The hell I won't!" Naruto growled back and lunged back to his feet. The Other smirked and eagerly greeted his opponent's kunai stabs with quick blocks.

"Then I'll enjoy showing ya just why you're wrong!"

- - - - - - -

There was only the sound of the falls, and the falling rain. Even with these disruptions, Sasuke could feel the weight of the silence.

He stared down at Naruto's unconscious form, the cool rain a sharp contrast to the burning chakra he'd felt within and without. But he paid it no mind, intent upon the silent boy laying on the sandbar.

_Brothers..._

The Uchiha survivor closed his eyes and slowly, carefully stood up. His _hia'te_ was left lying on Naruto's chest-His other arm could not hold it, and Sasuke couldn't carry it.

He limped, using what little chakra he had left to stay above water, slowly making his way to the far shore. He was confident Konoha would find Naruto-He had a feeling Kakashi wasn't too far away.

That was all he could do for Naruto, now.

_That power..._ He had wondered, for so long, and yet the answer had been painfully obvious. He hadn't put much thought into it, into how a deadlast like Naruto could keep up with him. Maybe he hadn't wanted to see...

_No._

All thoughts of Naruto, of Sakura, of anything... He put them away. They would do his revenge no good.

_"Grrraaaahhh..."_

Sasuke froze. His chakra senses had been taxed by the battle, but even they could not ignore a feeling so terrible, so familiar.

_No,_ he thought, turning around on the shore to stare. There, in the middle of the river... _It's not possible!_

The orange-clad figure was rising, the taste of the Kyuubi's power in the air. Yet, unlike the red energy Naruto had employed in the battle, the chakra that rose from him was black. The same feeling of menace filled the air, and only became worse when the demon's vessel turned his head to stare at Sasuke.

"Naruto...?" Sasuke whispered. The blonde grinned back, his eyes burning like an inferno.

_"REEEEEEAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!"_ Naruto screamed so loudly it seemed as though the whole forest would shake apart. Sasuke stumbled back, acutely aware of the sheer power his adversary was generating, how it seemed to steal the life out of the air itself.

His awareness calmly pointed out, against a rising flood of panic, how pitifully low and weak his own chakra was. How broken and tired his body was.

Naruto leaped forward, covering the distance between the sandbar and the shore in less than a second. Sasuke had no time to move, no time to defend himself. All he could do was stare at this new form of his former friend, gaze into eyes full of rage, and know that despite all of Orochimaru's promises and his own quest for vengeance... Even cutting all ties with Konoha and trying to kill his former best friend was just _not enough._

_Not enough,_ he thought as the claws came raking down.

- - - - - - -

_How is this happening...?!_

Every punch, every kick, every use of his weapons-The Other Naruto anticipated, trapped, blocked or avoided. All with that goddamned grin on his face. Frankly, it was beginning to piss Naruto off-And this day, more than any other, had provided fuel for his anger already.

"YAH!" Naruto bellow, feinting a punch at the Other's face. The Other avoided it and slammed his head into Naruto's. The original blonde's head jerked back, stunned just long enough for his enemy to grab his wrists and crouch down.

"YAH!" The Other Naruto cried, his jump carrying him up above the nearby buildings. He threw his legs back, sending both Narutos into a fast spin. At just the right moment, the Other released Naruto, sending him flying for the roof of a nearby apartment complex.

"GAAAHHH!"

Naruto slammed through the ceiling of a living room, crashing to the floor in a heap. He groaned and struggled to stand up, body aching from the blunt impact among pieces of furniture and knick knacks.

_How...?_

"How was that, Naruto?"

The original looked up. His double grinned down, crouching at the lip of the hole.

"Seemed to work pretty well on the Uchiha bastard, so I thought I'd give it a shot. What'd you think?"

"Bastard," Naruto growled. "How'd you do that?!" He got back to his feet and leaped up at his foe, two kunai brandished in his hands. His double grabbed his wrists and leaned back, back slamming into the roof. His feet met Naruto's stomach in the same movement, sending him flying off the building and crashing into the dirt road below.

"AUGH!"

"Hahahahahaha... Hahahahahahaha!"

The Other laughed heartily as he grinned down at the original, who once more got back to his feet and glared defiantly back.

"Haven't you figured it out yet?" The other taunted. "Never were too quick, were you?"

"Go to hell, you bastard!" Naruto growled. He formed his fingers into a cross. "_Kage bunshin no jutsu!_"

Two dozen blondes joined him, and Naruto's Other cracked his neck. He smirked.

"Onto ninjutsu then huh? All right..." He made his own hand seal. _"Kage Bunshin no jutsu."_

An equal number of the Other's clones formed. Naruto threw a fist forward.

"GET 'EM!" His clones shouted in the affirmative, and as one they leaped up. The Other simply pointed up, and his clones jumped up even higher above the attacking clones.

_"HENGE!"_ They cried in unison, and in a burst of smoke dozens of kunai were raining down upon Naruto and his troops.

"Shit!" The original blonde cried, barely managing to replace himself with a barrel as his clones were slaughtered. His Other's laughter followed him, and grew closer.

"You bastard! How the hell did you do that?!" Naruto shouted as his enemy came into view, landing on a nearer rooftop across the street. The Other smirked.

"What? I just made some clones and had them turn into weapons. Even _you_ were able to do that, weren't ya?!" Two clones poofed into existence on either side of the Other, and he held out his hands.

_"Henge,"_ they said, and two Windmill Shuriken took the place of the clones. With a broad grin, the Other threw them, twin weapons whistling loudly through the air right for Naruto.

Naruto once more substituted himself, vanishing in a burst of smoke. He reappeared on a nearby roof, right out in the open. The Other Naruto grinned.

_"Tajuu Kage Bunshin,"_ he called as he leaped high into the air. Dozens of Narutos appeared around him, just in time for Naruto to look up and see them with widening eyes.

_"Henge,"_ they called as one, and suddenly it was raining kunai, so many they blotted out the sky. Then, they fell in a hail of steel, a rain Naruto barely dodged by leaping off the roof of the building. He turned and formed another handseal.

_"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"_ He called, and with his clone army he charged for the building where his double had landed. Fanning out, they attacked from all sides, a veritable wave of orange descending upon the lone red eyed blonde that had landed there. He just smirked.

"Really think it's that easy, Naruto?" He asked. Naruto pointed his finger at his double as his troops leaped forward.

"Che! I'm betting your clones can't turn back into clones after they turn into kunai!" He smirked. "Now I've got you!"

The Other opened his jacket and revealed several explosive tags. Naruto's eyes widened.

"Sucker."

The explosion blew the building apart, sending clones flying and bursting into smoke across the village skyline. Naruto himself slammed into the ground on his feet, sliding and trying to stop himself. A punch to the back of his head sent him tumbling, all the way through a shop window with a loud crash.

"AUGH!"

The Other laughed again, loud and grating. "Hahahahahaha! Oh c'mon Naruto, surely you can do better than that!" He grinned. "I haven't even hit you with anything 'super awesome' yet, and I'm still-!"

He leaped up and threw three kunai at a nearby alley. Three explosive tags tied to them lit up, blasting apart Naruto's hiding place. With a curse, the original blonde slammed into a wall, the partial Rasengan he was forming evaporating with the death of the clone that was helping to form it.

"-kicking your ass," the Other finished. He smirked. "But, if you're moving onto that so soon..." He formed his own clone just as Naruto began to get up. The original blonde snarled angrily at his double, and grew even angrier when the sound of a fully formed, perfect Rasengan filled the air.

"You fucking...!" He stared at the Rasengan the Other held. _What the-He formed it that fast?!_

The Other Naruto smirked. "Since you've failed to figure it out, Naruto, I'll let you in on a little secret..." He poofed into smoke, replaced with one of his clones. The buzzing of the Rasengan filled Naruto's ears, and the original blonde turned just in time to see the Other racing for him down the street, the Yondaime's most famous jutsu headed for his chest.

"Everything you do, I do BETTER!"

- - - - - - -

Sasuke had never died before, but (courtesy of Haku), he was fairly certain he'd been given a preview of it. Darkness, the sensation of fading away into nothing...

He was therefore quite sure that he wasn't dead. He based that on the sensations he felt: somebody holding him tightly against their body, with a hand around his mouth. Set against the backdrop of the rain falling and the thing that had been Naruto roaring loudly nearby.

"Shut up," whispered a haggard girl's voice. "It's coming..."

_That Sound girl,_ he thought. A tree was uprooted nearby and sent flying, lit by a flash of lightning. It crashed near their hiding place, and was followed by a loud crash of thunder and another of Naruto's roars.

"All right shithead," Tayuya murmured. "Let's get moving... Slowly..."

_That's the best I can manage,_ he thought irritably. The Sound kunoichi grabbed him tightly around the waist and began pulling him along, much faster than he would've liked. Another spike of the Kyuubi's killing intent made this small complaint go totally silent.

"Why...?" Sasuke mumbled.

"Can't show up at Orochimaru's empty handed," Tayuya groaned. "As much as I'd like to ditch you..." She trailed off and shook her head. Now that he got a look at her, even in the darkness of the storm she was nearly as badly injured as he was. Was this how strong the Cursed Seal made her devotion?

"He wants ya, I'm getting ya," she concluded. Another crash sounded through the forest, and the killing intent grew worse.

"Shit," Tayuya mumbled. "What the fuck is that thing?"

She received an answer of sorts, when a burning figure blasted it's way through a nearby stand of trees. It's eyes found them, and a hideous grin came across it's face, two jet black tails waving behind it.

"Naruto..." Sasuke muttered. The monster screamed in response, and slammed a claw down onto the ground. A wave of earth and flames rose up, and it took all of Sasuke's remaining strength to send them out of the way.

"GAH!" Tayuya cried. "FUCK!"

Naruto leered and raised his claws again. Sasuke was sprawled on the ground, Tayuya on top of him. There was no escape.

He found himself without energy to rage or curse his fate-Only a numb acceptance as his death approached, the demon's claws getting closer to the ground... Closer...

An eruption of earth and chakra occurred around the monster's feet, sending him flying skyward. Naruto bellowed in rage as he crashed into the forest further away. Through the stifling killer intent, Sasuke made out an all too familiar chakra signature. He raised his eyes and stared at the gray haired figure in the trees nearby.

Kakashi stared back, unmoving... Before turning and rushing where Naruto had landed. Another roar rocked the forest, and Sasuke found everything disconnected. From the horrible chakra smothering the forest, to the insistent yanking on his arm by Tayuya.

"C'mon, let's go you fucking idiot!" She hissed. "Do you want to die?!"

Pain brought him back to the now, and with a wince he managed to follow her. He didn't know what would happen to either Naruto or Kakashi, but self-preservation as well as revenge pushed him away.

... No matter how much the strange urge to turn back loomed in the shadows of his mind.

- - - - - - - -

Like the trained and experienced shinobi Kakashi was, he put away any distracting emotions that loomed the moment he came upon the Valley of the End. The sight of Sasuke with that Sound kunoichi, well… There was guilt, he could admit that much. Unfortunately he didn't have the luxury of letting any emotions interfere with the crisis developing right now.

Sasuke going to Orochimaru? Bad. Very bad.

The Kyuubi no Youko staging a breakout from Naruto? An unnatural disaster in the making.

He pulled up his _hia'te_ and flashed through handseals, so quickly anyone below jounin level couldn't see the movement of his fingers. He slammed his hand down, and with a poof of smoke two dogs appeared.

"Pakkun, follow Sasuke," Kakashi quickly ordered. "Akino, get Jiraiya here."

Both dogs took off without a word, and Kakashi charged through the trees after Naruto, chakra pushing his muscles to sprint as fast as he could. It was only a second later he caught sight of the possessed genin, already back on his feet and swinging one of his tails.

A massive blast of wind and fire resulted, forcing Kakashi to replace himself. Wasting no time, he flashed through handseals and slammed his hand onto the ground.

"_Doton: Tenchuu no jutsu!"_ Another tower of rock and earth appeared underneath Naruto, sending him roaring skyward into a low arc. Kakashi ran underneath him, Sharingan eye furiously scanning his airborne target.

_The seal… It's not broken…_ It was blazing on Naruto's bared stomach like flames against his dark, chakra cloaked skin, but remained intact. So the Kyuubi wasn't breaking free.

That raised the question of what, exactly, was going on. Kakashi had studied plenty of sealing, especially that done by his sensei on Naruto. He was no Jiraiya, but he knew the very basics of Namikaze Minato's brilliant design. He also knew that this was certainly out of the ordinary, even for such a complex seal.

Naruto managed to get control of his descent and landed on the ground, hard. The earth cracked and splintered, and the trees surrounding him caught on fire from the blazing heat of the chakra he was emitting. Kakashi grimaced.

_So, he's not entirely mindless in this form…_ That required a change in tactics. A flurry of handseals sent a powerful jutsu at Naruto, blasting him back off his feet.

"_REEEEAAARRRRGGHHHHH!" _The possessed genin screamed, physically uprooting a tree with one hand and throwing it at Kakashi. "_RAAARRGGGHHHH!"_

Once more, Kakashi was saved by his replacement jutsu. He allowed himself to feel a little bit of shock as a good acre of forest had been demolished.

_This is bizarre… The amount of chakra he has at his disposal keeps changing…_ _That burst right there was strong enough to level a city block, but now it's only slightly higher than mine…_

"_REEEARRRRGGHHHH!"_ A massive blast of chakra-laced flames sought Kakashi out, and once more, the jounin was able to dodge.

_Lots of power, but no real focus. _A cautious hope emerged. _If I can get him to the river…!_

"_Doton: Doryū Taiga!"_ Kakashi unleashed a blast of mud, adding Earth and Water elemental chakras into the mix and using the force of the blast to drive Naruto back.

"_REEEAAARRRGGHHHH!"_ Naruto's bellow blasted the mud away, drying it all instantly, but the high level jutsu was merely a distraction. Another use of the Earth Release: Pillar of Heaven technique sent Naruto flying, and this time, he landed in the river. Kakashi was at the shore in an instant.

"_Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu!"_ Water elemental chakra sped up the formation of the jutsu considerably, to the point Kakashi just managed to finish before Naruto blasted out of the river, ascending high above the water. Kakashi's dragon rose to meet him, and captured the berserk genin in its jaws.

"_RRRAARRGGGHHHH-!"_ The Water Dragon dove even as the heat of the demonic chakra was rendering it steam. Still, it provided just enough momentum to send Naruto underneath the falls and into the cliff face below the rushing water.

Kakashi rushed up to the top of the falls as Naruto began to break free. He could already feel the strain on his body from the Sharingan and from using several powerful jutsu in such quick succession. There was little choice though.

_Naruto, Sasuke… Just what on Earth did you do?_ He thought while preparing another jutsu to keep Naruto down. He didn't know how long it would take Jiraiya to get here, but considering that none of his jutsus had even _scratched_ his berserk genin, well… He could only hope it was soon.

"Just have to buy some time…"

- - - - - - -

Naruto groaned and managed to sit up. As quick as he could, he pushed himself back to his feet, eyes already scanning the dust and debris around him for any sign of his enemy.

At the last possible moment, he'd managed to get the partial Rasengan in his hand spinning again, and slammed it up against the real deal wielded by the Other. Naruto had no idea what was going to happen, but he'd figured it couldn't hurt.

"Except it did," he mumbled. He cleared his head and looked around. _Damnit... Where'd he go? He could pop out of anywhere!_

The worst part though, was that he was fighting somebody who seemed to know everything he did. That might not be so bad if he thought just like Naruto, but... _This guy... He comes at it from a completely different perspective..._

A kunai shot out from the smoke near a damaged shop, and Naruto dodged. He growled and charged the location, quickly forming additional clones to flank the position.

"I've got you now, you bastard!" He growled, clones leaping as one through the smoke. What they were immediately confronted with though, was not the Other.

"N-Naruto-kun?" Hesitantly asked Hyuuga Hinata. Naruto blinked.

"Eh? Hinata-URK!"

A blue blast of chakra erupted from her hand, which had found it's way to his chest. Naruto staggered back, feeling his internal muscles burning as though microwaved.

"Sorry Naruto-kun," "Hinata" spoke, her blush as cute as the real one. "But you can't keep doing this."

"_Katon: Goukakyuu No Jutsu,_" called another voice. Naruto and his clones scattered, just as a huge fireball blasted apart the spot they were surrounding a mere moment ago. Naruto slammed into the road face first, and groaned as he pushed himself back up as quickly as he could.

"Che... Still as slow as ever, Deadlast," that same voice continued. Naruto looked up and saw Sasuke walking up, posture exactly as it was in the real world.

"This isn't real," Naruto growled, holding his chest. "You're not them!"

"But we're real enough for you, aren't we Naruto?" Asked another damnably familiar voice. Naruto looked over his shoulder. Sakura walked up, Hinata timidly following.

"You hesitated," Sakura said flatly.

"Y-You fell for it," Hinata added.

"You failed," Sasuke stated.

"What?! I didn't fail!" Naruto snarled.

The Other Naruto laughed, and emerged from the smoke to Naruto's left.

"But then, that's nothing new, is it?"

"Bastard... What the hell is the point of this?" Naruto gasped out. The burn of the fake Hinata's strike made it hard to breath.

"Why Naruto... Isn't a ninja supposed to use anything he can against his enemy?" The Other asked. "All his brains, all his courage, all his skills and resources? I'm just using the only source I have... And that's your knowledge."

"Bastard... When did I learn the Jyuken? Or any of Sasuke's jutsu?" Naruto snarled.

"Che," the other Naruto snorted. "Anybody can release a blast of chakra into another person's body-We just can't do it with the same precision as a Hyuuga. And any idiot who's watched that broody bastard as much as we have, would've figured out the handseals. Which brings me to my whole point, Naruto."

"What? You're gonna take over my body and do whatever you want?" Naruto said.

"No Naruto, I'm going to take over your body and make it so I win and _survive,_" the Other said. He grinned and began to spin a kunai on his finger.

"Tell me Naruto... What's the difference between a king and his... Nah, that doesn't work... Eh, fuck the metaphors," the Other Naruto said. "Here's the thing, Naruto-Everytime you've gotten into a battle, or into a fight for your life, you've had to call on the Kyuubi's chakra."

"What?! That's not true!" Naruto protested. "I beat Mizuki without the Kyuubi's chakra! I beat up Kiba! I took down Kabuto!"

"You beat an incompetent chuunin, with Iruka-sensei around to take a blow for you, an Inuzuka with a fart, and you only survived against that medic thanks to Tsunade," the Other Naruto snorted. "I'm talking about the _real_ battles. Haku, Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke. Where everything was on the line without any real help to be found. What happened in those battles?" He grinned.

"I'll tell you what happened... You couldn't find the will to defeat them!"

"What?!" Naruto snarled. "That's not what happened at all! I have plenty of will!"

"But not the right kind," the Other sneered. "The root of your fighting ability comes from one thought: 'How do I beat up my enemy so I can move onto my next goal?' When you're supposed to think 'How do I crush, slice, and _destroy_ my enemy?'"

Red Naruto flipped the kunai to his other hand, and spun it around his finger as he continued to speak.

"You never take the battles seriously-You fight like a superhero! Good will triumph because you're the good guy, and they never lose!" He stopped spinning his weapon and grasped it tightly, pointing it at Naruto. Naruto growled back.

"I do not! I fight with everything I have! All my energy!"

"But not using the right weapon," 'Sasuke' snorted.

"N-Neji-nii-san would've killed you, and you would've broken your promise to me without the Kyuubi's power," 'Hinata' spoke.

"It's not a matter of power, you idiot, it's how you use it!" 'Sakura' said. "Just like you never change your approach to me, you never change your approach to fighting!"

"You're not a fucking superhero, Naruto," the Other Naruto said, looking deadly serious. "You're not invincible, the villain does not always get his due. You fight the same damn way against every foe, and never think about the next step! And it doesn't work! The Kyuubi has to step in to win FOR YOU!"

Red Naruto grinned and stuck his free hand in his pocket.

"So, since you're going to be relying on him to win _for you_, I might as well take over if you're not going to take this seriously," with that, he threw the kunai as hard as he could, the projectile screaming for Naruto's heart.

"NARUTO!"

- - - - - - - -

The furious bellows of rage, the roar of the falls... They seemed quiet compared to the sound of his heart beating in his ears.

His tactic of keeping Naruto beneath the raging water of the river seemed to be working. The demon-possessed genin would rise with a blast of power, and try to kill him. Kakashi would have a jutsu prepared to counter, slamming his student back into the water. As far as keeping him in one place, there were few plans that could've been worse.

Ultimately though, it was doomed to failure. Naruto got further up the falls each time, his most recent attempt bringing him three fourths up the way, in the same time it had taken him to get a quarter of the way up before. It was taking precious extra seconds to knock him back down, too, as Naruto had figured out how to dodge.

The Sharingan's glimpses of Naruto gave Kakashi more information to work with. From what he could tell, the chakra inside Naruto's body was fusing with the chakra of the Kyuubi. It was as if the demon was trying to replace it's host's chakra with a combination of Naruto's and it's own. The result was a black, ominous chakra-Not as powerful as the Kyuubi's own, but from the looks of it, easier for Naruto's body to handle.

However, it seemed to have the side-effect of reducing Naruto to a purely instinctive level of reasoning. His chakra control was lousy; thanks to the fact that his power level was continuing to fluctuate from beyond the level of a Sannin, down to a little higher than his own. He was entirely focused on Kakashi as a threat to destroy.

The bottom of the falls exploded, the bases of the two statues, already in a bad way from the previous battle, cracking and splintering apart. Much of the water flashed into steam, adding to the vast fog already enveloping the valley.

_"REEEAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!"_ Naruto appeared again, flying up the waterfall, twin tails waving violently behind him. Kakashi formed handseals, water around him being summoned up.

_"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!_" He cried. Yet another great dragon was formed of the river, and it rose to dash down towards Naruto. The possessed genin, however, took on a new feature-His glowing mouth twisted into a grin, and he held out a hand.

_What in the...?_

_"RASENGAAAAAANNNN!"_ The monster bellowed, slamming a red and black version of the Yondaime's famous jutsu down the throat of the water dragon. The burning sphere reduced the jutsu to a cloud of steam, which was summarily parted by the possessed genin and his Rasengan.

_How?!_ Kakashi narrowly avoided being struck by the jutsu himself, a water clone suffering what would have been a horrible demise. Naruto looked around, holding the black Rasengan in his clawed hand, still grinning that terrible smile.

_Not instinctive..._ Kakashi scanned Naruto with the Sharingan, furiously. Yes... There was consciousness emerging underneath the confused internal war of chakras. There was conscious control over some of his chakra-Enough to form a Rasengan.

The jutsu vanished, and Naruto subsequently roared, eagerly looking around for him. Kakashi grimaced. None of this made any sense! The seal wasn't breaking, so why was Naruto using the Kyuubi's chakra? Lashing out mindlessly one moment, and using jutsu the next?

The only conclusion he could draw was that Naruto was fighting against the Kyuubi's takeover. At the moment, the odds did not seem in the genin's favor.

Kakashi thought furiously. He could still not sense Jiraiya. He didn't even know if his dog had found him. While Naruto was in a berserker state, he could contain him for a moderately long period of time, but if he was going to start pulling jutsu and countering his attacks, that time period shrank to a bare fraction.

Naruto's gleaming eyes looked right at him, and the demon-possessed ninja's grin grew. Kakashi frowned back.

He had two real options: Try to keep Naruto's attention on him and wait for Jiraiya, a suicidal proposition at best...

Or kill his student.

Kakashi flared his chakra briefly, enticingly. Naruto leaped high into the air and shot down for his position like a shooting star. Kakashi replaced himself, barely evading a massive blast of earth and fire that erupted from the impact point.

Kakashi flared his chakra again, and Naruto eagerly followed, tearing the forest apart in his pursuit. Kakashi allowed himself a black smile, as he circled around back towards the falls.

- - - - - - - -

Red Naruto smirked, as he stared into the surprised eyes of Sasuke. The shadow clone's expression (along with the rest of him) dissolved into smoke, leaving the kunai to hit the ground with a soft thump.

A massive burst of chakra cleared away any lingering smoke to the right, and the Other looked at Naruto, furiously performing handseals.

The two locked eyes briefly, before, with a snarl, Naruto knelt down and slammed his hand onto the ground.

"_KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"_

The devastation was immense. At least an entire city block was completely annihilated, as Gamabunta himself appeared in the middle of Konoha. Red Naruto reappeared on top of a building some distance away, one of his clones sacrificing itself for his creator.

"You think I don't… Take this seriously?!" Naruto bellowed down from the top of the Toad Boss. Red Naruto grinned back, and bit his finger.

"If you did," he called back, also forming handseals. "I'd have been dead the moment we first met." He slammed his palm against the roof.

"_Kuchiyose no jutsu,_" he hissed. An explosion of smoke obscured Naruto's enemy. When it cleared, a mirror copy of the Toad Boss stood there, staring back at the originals.

"Huh?!" Naruto shouted. "How…?"

"I did say I know _everything_ you do, Naruto," Red Naruto called back. He grinned. "And how fair would it be for me to just drop Gamabunta on your head?"

Naruto snorted back. "Fair?! I thought you wanted to _win!_"

"I _am_ going to win," Red Naruto called back. He smirked. "But it's so much more _fun_ to piss you off and show you up."

"We'll see about that!" Naruto shouted. "Get him, Boss!"

_"Suiton: Teppōdama!"_ Naruto's Gamabunta called, firing a salvo of water bullets at the copy. The Other Gamabunta leaped high into the air, evading the blasts (which subsequently leveled the Chuunin stadium in the distance).

Naruto felt a flare of chakra high above him, like a jutsu being released, and loud boom. His Gamabunta hopped away closer to the middle of Konoha, keenly searching for a trap.

"Uh, Boss…? Are you the real Boss?" Naruto managed to ask.

_"I'm the Boss Toad as you imagine him,"_ Gamabunta spoke. _"As is the other."_

"So, wait… You're just figments of my imagination?" Naruto asked. Gamabunta huffed.

_"We're real enough here, in your mind… Focus! Here he comes!"_

The Other Gamabunta landed nearby, making the ground shake. He had his sword out, and with a single hop he covered the distance between them and slashed his sword for the 'original'. Gamabunta drew his own toad blade and blocked, the force of the strike driving him back through several residential areas.

_"Ungh… He's strong…!_" Gamabunta growled. The other opened it's mouth, and a blast of oil hit Naruto's Gamabunta right in the face.

_"Katon: Goukakyuu No Jutsu!"_ Cried the Red Naruto, and a fireball from him ignited the oil covering Gamabunta's face.

_"GYAAH!"_ The Toad Boss roared in agony. Naruto gasped and fell back from the flames. He formed the ram seal, causing dozens of clones to appear.

"Put it out! Put it-YAAAHH!"

Naruto yelped as a massive toad sword rammed through Gamabunta's back. Naruto stared back as a second Other Gamabunta stood there, twisting his blade deep into his summon's body.

"How?! That's not-!"

Too late, he turned back at the sound of a familiar whistle. His eyes widened as Red Naruto filled his vision, Rasengan spinning in his palm, and killing intent in his grin.

_"Rasengan,_" Red Naruto whispered, as the jutsu made contact with Naruto's chest. The jutsu expanded, stealing the breath from Naruto's lungs. He felt himself get thrown off Gamabunta's back, falling, falling… As the spiraling power of the jutsu consumed him.

His vision, the entire _world_ seemed to turn black… Before he awakened to the sound of footsteps.

"Ungh…" His entire body ached. Parts he'd never even felt before hurt. His hands lay at his sides. Weakly, every muscle in his neck protesting, he managed to lift his head and look down.

Red Naruto casually walked up, not a care in the world. All three Gamabunta were gone.

"Well… I'd say I've wasted just enough time, wouldn't you?" Red Naruto asked with a smirk. "Really… Here I am, preaching about killing enemies quickly, but I took so long with you. Still, you have to admit, it wasn't for lack of trying…"

Naruto managed to bare his teeth in a silent snarl. Red Naruto laughed and stood over him.

"Okay… The copies of people who you care about thing… I'll admit, I was fucking around there. I blame _you_ for that. I felt the need to showboat a bit. But really… You do _suck_." He produced a kunai and spun it around his fingers.

"Face it Naruto, I'm the one who should be running things. I'm the one who should be in charge, because clearly, you don't have a fucking clue how to save our life or defend the people we care about without the Fox stepping in."

The Other laughed.

"And the best part is the reason I won isn't because of how powerful I am! It's not a total and complete change of who and what you are! I'm just a tiny little upgrade to who and what we are. Just that much allowed me to completely and totally kick your ass." He grinned as Naruto twitched and struggled, trying to get back up. He knelt down, resting a knee against his chest.

"I can't break you… You're still fighting against the inevitable, even now. But defeating you is just as good. After all… I'm getting that from you. So thank you for that, Naruto." He held the kunai handle tightly, and lifted it up.

"Sayonara."

Naruto stared back… And then grinned.

"Sayonara… Yourself," he hissed, ever so subtly glancing behind Red Naruto. The Other cocked his head, ready to defend against whatever trap Naruto had laid-

"URK!"

He turned back in shock. Naruto's grin had widened, just a little. Red Naruto looked down, and stared at the kunai plunged into his gut, the blood pouring from his wound. Naruto slashed upward, driving the weapon up between his enemy's ribs and into his heart.

"Hurk...!" Red Naruto stared at Naruto's face now… Before a small smirk emerged on his face.

"Well… No use crying about it, I suppose…"

Naruto pushed himself up, slowly, to a sitting position. It was then he noticed that the Other's blood was spreading out much further, and faster than blood should. Wherever it touched and whatever it touched, rusty, dirty metal appeared.

"What… What is this…?" Naruto managed. Red Naruto sighed.

"Everything I wanted… Everything we care about," the Other said. Naruto stared at his double. His smirk was gone, his eyes… So empty. So… _lonely._

"What… What'll happen to you?" Naruto asked. Red Naruto didn't look at him.

"Don't know… Disappear, I guess… Cast back into Hell, like all beaten demons…"

The towers of Konoha, the intact ones, began to fade into walls of a sewer-like room. Naruto recognized it easily as the room he'd been in when he'd first met the Kyuubi. He caught himself staring as the Hokage Monument was swallowed up… And out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Other staring too.

"… There's gotta be something… Something I can do," Naruto said quietly.

"Nothing doing… My only shot was to take you over. Now…?" Red Naruto closed his eyes.

"H-Hey… if you're me… You're not supposed to give up… Ever," Naruto growled. Red Naruto glanced up at him.

"We've also had to see others die… And not be able to do anything about it," he said quietly. Naruto growled and grabbed onto Red Naruto's shoulders.

"Damnit… Stop that!"

"I'm your enemy… No matter how you feel, I tried to take you over…"

"For the same reasons I fought against it!" Naruto growled back. "Can't we work together?!"

_**"IT HAS FAILED… IT IS USELESS…"**_

Naruto winced and turned to look at the vast door, the seal pinned to it. Behind the bars, the Kyuubi's eyes glowed.

"You… You made him, and now you're just going to abandon him?!" Naruto snarled.

_**"WHAT USE DO I HAVE FOR A FAILURE? "**_ The demon growled. Naruto's grip on his double tightened.

"Yeah… But… He was right about some things… And you! You made him… To get out, right?"

_**"IT IS INTOLERABLE TO BE WITHIN SUCH A PATHETIC, VULNERABLE, IDIOTIC MONKEY OF A SHELL! "**_ The Kyuubi roared. Naruto stared back… And then grinned.

"You're afraid."

The Kyuubi stared in disbelief at Naruto, before roaring in rage, making the whole chamber shake.

_**"INSOLENT BUG! PITIFUL INSECT! HOW DARE YOU! I AM THE KYUUBI NO YOUKO! THE GREATEST DEMON TO WALK THE WORLD! I FEAR NOTHING! "**_

"Except death," Naruto said. The Kyuubi snarled, but said nothing more.

"You made him… Because you were _afraid_ to die," Naruto taunted. "Afraid I'm not strong enough! Well… You know what? You're right."

Red Naruto managed to stare at his double. Naruto's grin grew.

"I need to learn more, and train more to survive… And this guy knows how to use what I know better than I do. So… I want you to figure out a way to let him out."

_**"AND WHY SHOULD I DO THAT? "**_ Kyuubi snarled.

"If you do, I'll be better able to keep myself… And you… Alive," Naruto challenged. "I'd say… That's worth it, isn't it?"

The Kyuubi stared back in silence… Before making a strange sound. It took Naruto a moment to realize it was _laughing_.

_**"VERY WELL, BRAT. I WILL SEND MY USELESS TOOL OUT… HIS FATE AND MINE ARE LINKED TO YOURS. SO GET STRONG, PATHETIC BUG. BECAUSE NEXT TIME… YOU WILL NOT WIN. "**_

Naruto grinned, before he vanished, his conscious mind returning to take hold of his body.

The Red Naruto looked up at his creator… And snorted.

"Took your damn time, didn't you?"

_**"THE ARRANGEMENTS ARE MADE, "**_ the demon growled. _**"IT TOOK LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED…"**_

"But… Definitely worth it," Red Naruto said with a smirk.

_**"JUST REMEMBER, BRAT… I MADE YOU FOR ONE REASON. FULFILL IT, AND YOU WILL RULE BY MY SIDE. FAIL-"**_

"Fail, and you're stuck here," Red Naruto smirked. The Kyuubi growled angrily, which only caused the Other to laugh.

"Face it, 'Dad', you've put yourself at my complete mercy! It's entirely up to me whether you stay inside the idiot, or get loose." His smirk grew into a sadistic grin.

"You truly are desperate, aren't you?"

The Kyuubi's silence said it all. Red Naruto laughed.

"Fortunately for you… I'm a nice guy. And I don't go back on my promises. I'll let you out… But it'll be on _my_ terms, Fox. Don't you forget it."

_**"… GET OUT, BRAT…"**_ The Kyuubi rumbled. With a final smirk, Red Naruto vanished as well, leaving the great demon to contemplate how far he had fallen… And the lengths to which he'd go to pull himself back into the light.

- - - - - - - -

"... Naruto?"

The genin blinked. He then blinked again, as if unsure if what he'd come out of was real. First off... Kakashi looked terrible, as though he'd gotten into a fight with a forest and lost. Secondly, he was being held up by his collar by Naruto's fist. Thirdly, Naruto's other fist was held back, as though ready to punch his sensei's head off.

Finally... He was naked. And it was very, very cold.

"... Kakashi-sensei?"

Naruto dropped his sensei, and wobbled a little. He could still feel the edge of the Kyuubi's chakra, boiling just underneath the surface of his regular energy. From it came a simple thought, and his fingers moved to form the ram seal.

_"Kage Bunshin no jutsuuuu..._" The energy faded, and Naruto was left with a exhaustion he'd never felt before. His energy completely gone, he collapsed without another sound into a heap.

Kakashi was left staring at two Narutos-One unconscious, the other...

"Che... Fucking Fox," the Other stated, looking down at his lack of attire. "Burned everything off, huh? Asshole. _Henge!_" Now adorned in his usual clothing, the other Naruto looked at Kakashi with scarlet eyes.

"Who are you?"

"Naruto," the Other said. He pointed at the original on the ground. "He's also Naruto. It's complicated. I'll explain when my lesser half isn't badly injured, naked and freezing in the rain."

Kakashi slowly blinked, and then nodded.

"Now, are you going to get him back to Konoha, or have your Icha Icha Books been the yaoi edition all along?"

_Brat,_ Kakashi thought, as he hefted Naruto over his shoulder. "What will you be doing then?"

The Other Naruto cracked his knuckles, and grinned.

"Finishing the mission, of course..." He scowled at Kakashi. "Hello?! Naked! Freezing! Injured! Get going already!"

Kakashi shook his head, and took off. Once out of sight, he created a Shadow Clone with what little chakra he had left and handed Naruto off to him (though not before wrapping him tightly in a survival blanket). That done, he rushed back and soon caught up with the Other Naruto, who was tree hopping in the same direction Sasuke and the Sound kunoichi had fled.

"See, _this_ is why I'm gonna become Hokage," he muttered, just loud enough for Kakashi to hear. "Everybody else is a fricking moron..."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched... Only _slightly_. He had seen weirder things before...

- - - - - - -

"Ungh... C-C'mon, you bastard... Hurry up..."

"Hngh..." Sasuke groaned. "Going... Fast as I can..."

"Not fast enough," Tayuya growled back.

Sasuke tried to brace himself against her, but he was just so very tired. So very weak. The terrifying feeling of the Kyuubi's chakra could only provide so much motivation to escape.

"Sh-Shithead," Tayuya muttered, putting more of her weight on the improvised walking stick she'd made. She could improve her chances of getting back to base if she just stopped talking, but in all honesty, if Orochimaru couldn't clean up her language, not even the shittiest day _ever_ could.

At last though, the horrific killing intent that had been chasing them for the last hour dissipated, and Tayuya was even more pleased when a pair of Sound nin found them, landing on the ground before the two survivors.

"Tayuya-san, what has happened to the others?" One of them asked.

"Didn't fucking make it," she sneered.

"Ungh..."

A faint chakra signature made itself known behind her, and Tayuya turned her head ot look over her shoulder. Sasuke did the same.

"... You live?" Sasuke asked, as the pale, bloodied form of Kimimaro slowly staggered out of the shadows.

"Kimimaro," one of the Sound Nin said. The Shikotsumyaku user stumbled, but managed to keep going.

"As long as... Orochimaru-sama desires it... I do," he said, coming out as barely more than a faint whisper. "I have... A problem though..." He fell to his knees barely two meters away from Tayuya and Sasuke, and the two Sound ninja moved to check on him. After all, returning both of Orochimaru's favorite pet projects, alive, would surely have a great reward.

"What problem, Kimimaro-san?" Asked one of the ninja. Kimimaro's arms dropped to his sides... Before slashing quickly across the throats of the two ninja. Sasuke's eyes widened at this act, and even further when "Kimimaro" smirked, and then vanished in a poof of smoke. An all-too-familiar figure stood up, twirling two kunai around his fingers.

"Problem _solved_," Naruto said with a grin.

"What the fuck?!" Tayuya gaped. Naruto glanced over at the two survivors and his grin widened.

"Picked up another fangirl, huh Sasuke? Or rather, she's picking _you_ up," he snickered. "Well, what the hell, might as well bring her along too, right?"

Sasuke and Tayuya went down, hard, from a single punch each to the back of their heads. Two of Naruto's Kage Bunshin smirked behind them, and their creator gave them a thumbs up.

"Mission accomplished... Damn, you guys are awesome!"

"No way! You're awesome!" His clones said. Red Naruto smirked.

"Let's just agree that we're awesome in general. Now, grab them and let's get going."

Hidden in the trees above, Kakashi watched this all in silence, and followed the Other Naruto as he headed back towards Konoha. His one visible eye narrowed.

The mission was accomplished, albeit after some severe setbacks and strange developments. Kakashi didn't know just what was going on, but one way or another, they'd find out.

For now… He had a couple of wayward students to get home.

- - - - - - -

_Allright kids, ya got me. In order to prevent PTS from coming into existence, I'm writing a slight change. Some things you might expect, some things you might not. Either way, it's going to be an interesting ride. So sit back, relax, and pretend the high explosives going off are fireworks. _


	2. The Aftermath: Sexual Tension

The Red Mirror

_A Naruto Fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz, and other companies, and it's creator is Kishimoto Masashi. I am not writing this for profit._

_Take a concept from one manga, and take it for a spin and twist in another…_

_Like the new section dividers? I hope so-They're the new standard. Why does it seem like this website just strives to piss me off?  
_

_

* * *

_It seemed to be another chapter in "The Headache That is My Life Thanks to Uzumaki Naruto." Tsunade wasn't particularly certain when she'd get around to finishing the book… Much less starting it… Hey, she'd only been Hokage for a few months… But she was certain that when she did get around to it, it'd hopefully become a serious rival to Jiraiya's Icha Icha Paradise series.

There was porn, and then, there was comedy and ridiculousness that firmly imbedded itself into the popular culture for decades to come. Tsunade was fairly certain she would be triumphant in the long run.

_Teach him to call my writing flat and uninteresting…_

The Godaime Hokage finally got her mind back on the matter at hand, and steepled her fingers in front of her face. On the other side of her office desk, the Other Naruto stood, hands in his pockets, with Jiraiya and Kakashi on either side.

"You know, I never wanted to see the inside of the ANBU T&I section, Baa-chan," he began. "It's kind of a goal of mine, alongside becoming Hokage, to spend as little time around Ibiki until I'm scarier than he is." Tsunade scowled at the hated title.

"Yes, but all things considered…"

"You have to make sure I'm not the Kyuubi in disguise or something," Other Naruto said. "Even though the Kyuubi's about as subtle as an earthquake."

"It is a fox, after all," Kakashi said. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Looks more like a rabbit to me… Or one of those annoying yappy dogs… Anyway, I did bring Sasuke back, unhar-er, well, alive. And a prisoner. Doesn't that entitle me to a little trust?"

Tsunade looked at Jiraiya, who shrugged.

"Everything I've looked at tells me that the seal is intact on the… Original Naruto, and this one can be likened to a summon-A Shadow Clone manifestation of the real thing."

"So, his soul is within Naruto's body as well?" Tsunade asked. Jiraiya nodded.

"If the original dies, so does he."

"Hence, I'm not going to do anything to risk the Idiot getting his dumb ass killed," the Other Naruto pointed out. "Such as trying to release the Fox."

"He did create you though, Naruto," Kakashi said softly. "It is understandable for us to be cautious."

"Yeah, I get that, but c'mon! I wouldn't even know where to begin, even if I wanted to! Sure, I'm smarter than the Idiot, but that's like bragging you're smarter than a cantaloupe," Other Naruto snorted. "And, again, I don't wanna die, nor do I want Konoha to die."

"Fair enough," Tsunade said. "Still… For the foreseeable future, you will be supervised."

The Other Naruto sighed, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Baa-san… Tsunade… I may be a copy, but it's still _me._ I still want to protect Konoha… Still care about you all…" He then glared. "And still need some ramen, which I haven't been able to get for the last _two days_. I'm _starving_! All I've gotten is those crappy ration bars they feed prisoners! C'mon, can't I get some, please?"

Tsunade sighed and shook her head, resisting the urge to smile.

"I promise to never call you Baa-san again."

"What about the original?" Tsunade asked pointedly. Other Naruto grinned back.

"Eh, I'll persuade him… He is me, after all. And I know me like the back of my hand."

"All right… Kakashi, go with him," Tsunade said. With a beaming smile, the Other Naruto leaped out the window, his sensei jumping out after. Tsunade's glance at Jiraiya made the old pervert smile.

"Well?"

"It's Naruto… But not Naruto," Jiraiya said. "Psychologically, a lot is the same, but well… You've seen the differences."

"Mm," Tsunade nodded. "Like he looked in on himself… You said he resembled a summon?"

"Yes, though a significantly stronger version of one, given his size," Jiraiya said. "He has his own chakra, and a link back to his summoner-In this case, Naruto. But, given what the original's been through, that the other one's been operating this long points to the idea that his initial manifestation is far more complex and self-sufficient than a standard summon."

"So how long can he operate outside of Naruto, theoretically?" Tsunade asked. Jiraiya shrugged.

"Well, he's got a full set of internal organs that do what they're supposed to do… So… Quite a while, from what I can tell. If he runs out or 'dies', Naruto can just summon him again."

Tsunade sighed and leaned back in her chair. "So Naruto, in theory at least, has a partner in battle…" She shook her head. "He seemed so much like…"

"Yeah," Jiraiya said quietly. "But there's still something that makes you feel cautious around him." He smiled wryly. "Might simply be his creation… He is, for all intents and purposes, a demonic version of our Naruto. Bound to keep him safe or he'll die too. Doesn't necessarily make him evil himself."

"I know," Tsunade said softly. "But I still have a bad feeling about this…"

* * *

Kakashi had barely recovered from being kicked around like a football all over the forest, and frankly, he wanted to just crawl up under a blanket with _Icha Icha Paradise_ for the next week. One of his students had tried to defect, and the other had developed a split personality courtesy of his resident demon. He supposed keeping the "Red" Naruto out of the original wasn't a bad plan, and so far, he was operating pretty closely to Naruto. Who, while unpredictable, still lacked the experience and power needed to take Kakashi out.

It didn't mean he wasn't full of surprises though.

"Ayame-chaaan!"

"Eh?!" The ramen girl soon found her arms filled with a familiar blonde. Red Naruto cheerfully pressed his face in her boobs, before looking up at her with a big grin.

"Ayame! You have no idea how happy I am to see you! And the Old Man! How's it going?"

"Uh, great Naruto!" Mr. Ichiraku responded. He shared a look with his daughter. Ayame blushed and shrugged, and as one she and her father looked back at the blonde. He snuggled her boobs once more, before seemingly noticing everyone's eyes on him.

"Ah… Sorry, got a little carried away," he said, blushing himself in a way that wouldn't fool anyone if he wasn't so goshdarn cute. Kakashi raised a mental eyebrow.

_The anger and aggression I can get, but this?_

"Um, th-that's all right…" Ayame said. "But um, it's kind of hard to serve you like this, Naruto-kun."

"Good point!" Red Naruto said, sliding back over the counter to sit on a stool.

"I'll take one order of, hmmm… Everything."

"Everything?! Must've been a big mission!" Ayame commented. Red Naruto chuckled.

"Oh yeah… Might say it opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me," he said. Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his visible eye with years of practice. "Oi, Kakashi-sensei, what're you gonna be having?"

The jounin closed his book and sat down next to his 'student'. "A beef ramen," he said. Red Naruto nodded, and leaned back, holding his arms behind his neck.

_This will either double their business or double their debt,_ Kakashi thought.

"So, Kakashi-sensei… I was thinking of going to the hospital after," Red Naruto spoke. "How is everyone, anyway?"

"Mm? Hyuuga Neji and Akimichi Chouji were badly injured, but have stabilized," Kakashi said. "Shikamaru suffered only a broken finger. Kiba was injured, but nothing that couldn't be fixed up." He lowered his voice slightly.

"As for the first… He's still sleeping after his chakra exhaustion."

"Mmhm… I didn't see Sasuke at day care," Red Naruto commented. Kakashi reopened his book as his food was prepared. Multitasking was child's play to him, even before he got the Sharingan.

"He's being treated elsewhere."

Red Naruto glanced at his sensei. "So, what's the word on him anyway?"

"Haven't been in the loop," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi-senseiii," Red Naruto whined. "C'monnn! I mean, I did bring him in."

Kakashi glanced over at Red Naruto, with a look he'd rarely gotten from the jounin teacher. It was stern and carried true authority with it-That of a commanding officer. Red Naruto huffed, but said nothing further.

He was acting different around him than he would his own Naruto-And really, Red Naruto couldn't blame him. The Original was more observant than he usually let on, habit born out of presenting the world with an idiotic grin and stupidly loud manner designed to get attention. Habits were, however, notoriously hard to break.

Red Naruto didn't have that problem. The Kyuubi had been able to do little more than copy the original's soul and memories. Red Naruto found himself touching his chest in reaction, his eyes narrowing slightly.

_Counterfeit… _He mentally shook his head. _Fuck_ that noise. He had all of the Original's memories with none of his hang-ups, self-imposed blocks, or restraints on his potential. Anything and everything he'd learned, Red Naruto had. Hell, he'd had the original on the ropes and he hadn't even pushed himself to become _truly_ creative.

Sure, right now he was stuck with the Original. A copy of a soul wasn't the real deal, and what was more, it was made (partially anyway) out of demonic chakra. Red Naruto hadn't managed to grasp everything during his creation… Hell, now that he thought about it, he didn't remember _anything_ during his creation.

In an instant, he'd known who and what he was, and the Kyuubi had imparted the needed information to him to do his job. There wasn't anything before. He was Uzumaki Naruto, damnit.

_Still… Could've made things easier on me_, Red Naruto thought sullenly, managing to give Ayame a warm smile when she delivered his ramen. He dug into the food eagerly, enjoying every moment as the warm broth and succulent noodles washed over his tongue and down his throat. It improved his mood considerably, but all too quickly, he finished his first bowl and his dark thoughts returned.

The Fox had turned Naruto's body mad, chakras mixing and fusing into a chaotic mess while he and the Original had fought. Why? Was that how he was made? Born out of the chaos? If it was, it hadn't been particularly subtle. The Plan would've worked out more easily that way.

_Kakashi wouldn't have been hurt… Wouldn't look at me quite so distrustfully…_

Though, the Fox might just be clever enough to do that-Red Naruto's entrance into the world after something like that would certainly make it harder for him to be trusted.

_Clever? Che, try spiteful. Why couldn't a hot sexy kitsune been sealed into me? Instead of some spiteful, mindless, angry-_

"You're quiet," Kakashi noted.

"Something bothering you, Naruto?" Ayame asked. Red Naruto looked up and just shrugged.

"It's complicated," he admitted. Ayame's warm smile distracted him again, and he gave her a grin back.

"I don't wanna talk about it though. I'm here for you, after all."

"You're here for ramen," Ayame said playfully. Naruto pouted.

"Awww… It can't be both? Two of my favorite things in the entire world, right here. Hot ramen, hot girl," he winked. Teuchi grunted disapprovingly, as Ayame giggled.

"Naruto, are you hitting on my daughter?" He raised his ladle and shook it at him. "I see now… You've been playing dumb all these years, haven't you?" The crinkle in Mr. Ichiraku's eyes told Red Naruto he was joking. The copy grinned back and continued the game happily.

"Yes, you've caught me," he said. "I planned to seduce Ayame-chan and steal all your secrets from her! Once done, I'll use the Ichiraku/Uzumaki Ramen Stand Chain _to take over the world_! Mwahahahaha!"

"And what if you couldn't get our secrets through seducing me, Naruto-kun~?" Ayame teased. Red Naruto smirked and waggled his eyebrows.

"In the case of the impossible? I'd just have to marry you, make you my Goddess of Ramen, and take over the world like that!"

"You'd have to defeat me first, Uzumaki," Teuchi growled. "I will not allow the use of my ramen for so _evil_ a plan!"

"You'd have a great big villa in Wave Country and lots of grandchildren to spoil," Naruto said with a grin. Teuchi thought it over.

"Hmmm…" He shook his head. "No! You cannot tempt me with such worldly pleasures, Uzumaki! My profession is a pure one, and so is my devotion!"

"I'd throw in Sexy Kunoichi maids," Naruto added.

"Deal!"

"Father, you pervert!" Ayame admonished while giggling.

"Well, the maids always get me," Ichiraku admitted. Red Naruto felt the tension coming from Kakashi subside, just a little. That made the meal go much faster, and at the end of it, Red Naruto felt significantly better than he had mere minutes ago.

Sure, he had some things to work out, but nothing that couldn't wait.

Speaking of…

"Ayame-chan, I'm going to need some for the road," Naruto said.

"Oho? And do you intend to pay for those? Or your previous meal?" Ichiraku snorted. Naruto smirked.

"It's on my tab, old man. Soon as I get my mission pay, trust me, it's all going right here."

"It'd better," Ichiraku grumped with a smirk. As soon as the food parcel was in his hands, Naruto turned to Kakashi, who had long since finished eating.

"I'm going to the hospital. You coming?"

The jounin stood up and nodded. "After you."

His book was raised to his face, as per his usual. Kakashi was still in his alert phase though-The tension in the air was familiar. But… it was a little lower, and that was enough to let Red Naruto relax a bit as they headed for the hospital.

* * *

Naruto seemed to be loud whether he was asleep or awake, Shizune thought, as the sound of his snores filled the small hospital room. The medic ninja entered and checked the chart. Her eyes widened, and she shook her head in disbelief.

_Anyone else would be dead after what he'd been through,_ she reflected silently. Not for the first time, she gave a fond smile to the boy who had done so much for her mistress, and impulsively, she reached out to ruffle his hair in affection.

"Hnnn…"

"Eh? UWAH!" Shizune was given no warning, and yelped as she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist, pulling her into a hug. She squirmed as the sleeping Naruto hugged her happily.

"Mmmm…" He mumbled, and nuzzled her chest. With a deep flush, Shizune reached up and tried to pull Naruto's arms free. Her eyes widened as she tried once, and then again, to no avail: Naruto hung on with unbelievable strength, considering his condition.

_What did they put into his IV?!_ She thought, comically struggling to get out of his embrace. Please, don't let anyone walk in on us! She didn't dare imagine how it would look.

"Shizune-san?!"

Suddenly, she didn't have to. Shizune looked over at the door, to the sight of a gob smacked Sakura. The pinkette was holding some flowers, an arrangement that spoke of friendship.

"Ah, er, Haruno-san, this isn't what it looks like!" Shizune tried. She focused and, with just enough enhanced strength (though not so much that would hurt him), she pulled Naruto's arms away from her and stumbled off the bed. She turned to Sakura and quickly smoothed out her clothing.

"He grabbed me in his sleep, really," the medic ninja said. Sakura stared at her for a moment, before shrugging and walking over to the vase next to the bed.

"It's all right… I know he's not a pervert," she said. She treated Naruto to a genuine smile. "He… He's going to be all right, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is," Shizune said. "He's just exhausted."

"Him?" Sakura asked in disbelief. She shook her head. What kind of fight was it that made Naruto that tired?

Turning her thoughts from that question to her other reason for coming, she looked back at Shizune.

"Shizune-san, I've been trying to talk to anybody about Sasuke-kun. Tsunade-sama has been too busy to see me, and everyone else I've talked to either doesn't know or can't say."

"Well, that's for a very good reason…" Shizune began. "The whole incident is being treated very confidentially. After all," and here Shizune's eyes narrowed just a little, with the heavily bandaged Naruto in her sight, "he did try to defect."

"It… It wasn't entirely his fault," Sakura said softly. "The Cursed Seal… Everything that's happened…"

"Despite all that," Shizune said flatly, "he did try to join Orochimaru, and he did fight Naruto to do it."

"But, but Naruto is fine, right?" Sakura asked. "I mean…He's going to be all right…"

_If it wasn't for the Kyuubi…_ Shizune sighed.

"Yes… Everyone is going to be fine… Now," the medic nin said, eyes narrowing a bit more on the last word. Sakura winced a little. She'd seen the other genin who had participated in the mission. She wasn't sure of seeing Naruto so soon-Too many conflicting emotions. The fact she couldn't see Sasuke had further delayed her as she tried to find out why. All too late, she saw the look on Shizune's face for what it was, and guilt reared it's ugly head as she looked back at the window.

She was very surprised to see Naruto there, forehead protector tied securely around his neck and eyes bright red, but otherwise an exact copy of the boy in the hospital bed before her.

"Naruto?"

"Hey Sakura-chan," the blonde grinned. He jumped in and stretched. "Don't mind me, just checking on me."

Sakura spied the boxes of take-out ramen he was carrying behind his back, and shook her head with a wry smile.

"Only you would make a Shadow Clone to get yourself ramen," the pinkette said. The Other Naruto smirked, and hopped over the bed. Sakura, startled, stepped back even as the "clone" leaned in close.

"It isn't for him, it's for me," he said in a low, playful growl. He glanced over at Shizune and grinned. "Care to join me? Especially you, Shizune-nee-chan, you look extremely flushed. Are you eating enough?"

Shizune's remarked upon blush grew deeper, as Sakura just blinked.

"Eh? I didn't know Shadow Clones could eat."

"I'm-"

There was a mild pulse of chakra nearby, with a signature unmistakably that of Kakashi. The Other Naruto's grin widened.

"Yeah, we can… We are copies of the original in pretty much every way." He held out his boxes of Ichiraku goodness, breathing deeply of the wonderful scent with a smile. "Ahhh… Well? What would you like?"

"I'll take the veggie one," Sakura said. "I'm going back on my diet."

Red Naruto rolled his eyes and shoved a beef ramen into her hands instead. Sakura scowled.

"Naruto! I said veggie!"

"No, that's mine because I need more veggies," he said, handing another box to Shizune. "You, on the other hand, need more… Well, everything."

"Not everybody is a ramen nut like you, you know," Sakura said flatly. Red Naruto smirked.

"I'm not talking about ramen, I'm talking about the fact that you're so skinny. It's not a good thing for a kunoichi to be on a diet, right Shizune-nee-chan?"

"That's right," Shizune said, sufficiently recovered to remember her training. "More food means more energy which means more power-Power that could save your life in combat."

"But… But I want to look good," Sakura protested. "Don't you think I look good, Naruto?"

Red Naruto raised his eyebrows. _Fishing for compliments? From me? I guess I am into her good graces for bringing Duck Butt Head home. Hmmm… How to use this…?_

"Yeah, you do, but skinniness is not sexy," he said frankly. "A good figure, skimpy clothing _and_ being strong are. I mean, look at Shizune-nee-chan! I'd hit that five ways from Sunday if she let me."

Red Naruto dodged a punch, and grinned cheekily at the furious Sakura. Shizune meanwhile looked as though she were trying to blush herself into oblivion.

"Or Anko-sensei, now _that_ is sexy… or Hinata-chan! I mean, you saw her with her open jacket at the Exams, right? Mmmm, very nice-!"

"YOU PERVERT!" Sakura roared, leaping over the bed to try and tackle him. Red Naruto cackled and dodged, rushing out the door with a playful smack to Shizune's bottom.

"EEP!"

Sakura gave chase, howling his name in rage. The mortified Shizune could hear a certain perverted jounin giggling outside the window. A sound she was interrupted from, well, interrupting, by another sound.

"Ah… Sh-Shizune-nee-chan? Is that… Ramen?"

"Naruto?"

* * *

Akamaru seemed so small in Hinata's hands. Granted, he'd always been small, but the loveable puppy had always either been happy in her arms, or whimpering for attention, making sure everybody knew he was around. His presence, both in sound and in his aura, was unmistakable. Hinata, however, could not recall a time where the in-all-but-name fourth member of their team had lie completely still in her arms, the only sign of life his softly beating heart and the subtle movement of his chest.

"Now, be careful how you hold him," the nurse said. "He's resting, and still recovering, and you really, _really_ need to-"

Shino cleared his throat. The nurse looked uneasily at the bug user, who stared back behind his sunglasses.

"We are his teammates," he said. "We know how to look after him."

His tone was still a monotone, but carried a slight protective edge that made Hinata smile. The nurse nodded and headed back to her station, leaving the three members of Team Eight alone.

"C-C'mon Akamaru-kun, we're going to see Kiba," Hinata murmured, turning and walking down the other way. Shino followed, hands in his pockets.

It wasn't a long journey from the pickup, but it had sure felt like it. Due to the worry that Otogakure had utilized new poisons and toxins during the retrieval, Akamaru had been kept by the main hospital with Inuzuka veterinarians coming to see him. Unfortunately, Kiba's mother and sister were out on a mission and thus couldn't tend to him themselves, which left Hinata and Shino to pick him up.

Kiba's room was easy to find-An affronted nurse stormed out of it.

"Hey, c'mon! I was only kidding!" Shouted the last member of Team 8 after her. Hinata's cheeks flushed in reaction to the angry flush on the nurse's, and Shino let out an almost imperceptible sigh.

"It seems he is feeling better," Shino said. Hinata giggled softly and nodded.

"Mmhm..."

"Oi, Hinata, Shino! You out there?" Kiba called. Shino and Hinata entered the hospital room. Kiba was sitting up in bed, the remnants of his last meal scattered on the table and nightstand. He brightened and smiled happily when he saw his dog.

"Akamaru!"

"He is heavily sedated right now, which should wear off in a matter of hours," Shino smoothly explained, as Hinata gently handed her precious cargo over to her friend. Kiba grinned and took him, hugging his puppy to his chest.

"It's great to see you all... I was going crazy with these nurses hanging around." He made a face. "Do you know they get all uppity when I get a boner?"

"K-Kiba-kun!" Hinata squeaked. Kiba huffed.

"Well they _do!_ It's not my fault they smell so good!"

"Or that you keep dropping things so that they must bend over to retrieve them?" Shino asked dryly. Kiba grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"Hey, I'm the patient, after all. They could be a little more sympathetic." He looked at the two of them. "So, what's the word on the mission?"

"Things seem to be confused," Shino said. "The Hokage is keeping things very quiet. I believe Uchiha was successfully recovered, but beyond that I cannot say anything."

"Well, I call that a win," Kiba said. "What's the word on the others?"

"Ch-Chouji and N-Neji-nii-san were both very badly injured, as was N-Naruto-kun," Hinata said quietly. "B-But they're all going to make it!" She quickly said, to prevent Kiba from frowning. The Inuzuka clan member grinned.

"That's great to hear..."

"NARUUUUTOOOOOO!" Shrieked Sakura's voice. Kiba winced.

"Okay... That's _not_ great to hear..."

Seconds later, a familiar orange-clothed blonde slid into the room, smoothly replacing himself with a _Kage Bunshin_ that kept running. Seconds later, Sakura passed by, falling for the decoy perfectly. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to grin at the occupants of the room.

"Hey, Team 8! It's great to see you guys! Especially you, Hinata-chan." Naruto grinned and winked at her.

Hinata blushed furiously, and immediately began tapping her fingers together.

"Ah, er, um, th-that is, ahh...?"

"Hey hey! What about me, huh?" Kiba scowled. Naruto smirked.

"It's good to see you too, Mutt. Both of you. Is your better half doing okay?"

"He's going to make a full recovery, Deadlast. But how are you up and about now?" Kiba squinted. "And what's with your eyes?"

"In answer to the first, I'm a _Kage Bunshin_ of the original," Naruto replied. "But you can talk with me normally-Moment I go poof, he'll get all the memories of what I've been doing and he'll be all caught up. In answer to the second..." He rubbed the back of his head. "It's a long story..."

"A-Are you o-okay?" Hinata stuttered. Naruto's grin grew.

"Never better..." He walked over to the group, giving Shino a respectful nod. The Aburame returned it.

"Anyway, I'm making the rounds, seeing all you guys. How awesome are we, huh? We beat the fuck out of the best Snakeface had to offer and brought back Duckbutt head. I'm thinking, as soon as we all get out of this place, we party. Hard."

He looked over at Shino. "How about it, Shino? You look like the partying type."

"I would not be adverse to a celebration," the Aburame said. Naruto grinned and patted him on the shoulder.

"Great to hear!"

Shino blinked at him behind his glasses, as Kiba goggled a bit. Naruto smoothly moved over to the furiously blushing Hinata, and grinned.

"Can you make it, Hinata-chan? I'd be very disappointed if you couldn't make it."

"Ah, er, um, w-well, I-I-I, uh, er...!"

"I'll take that as a yes. Can I take that as a yes, please?" Naruto asked. Hinata managed a nod. Naruto gave her a big hug, which caused every inch of her skin to turn bright red.

"Awesome! Oi, Dogbreath, you coming?"

"Of course I am, ya Moron," Kiba snarked back. "There wouldn't be any fun to be had with just _you_ around."

"I think Hinata-chan would say differently, wouldn't you Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked. "... Hinata-chan? Hello?"

She'd gone limp against him with closed eyes and a happy smile. Naruto looked a bit alarmed.

"Ah... She okay?"

"Yeah, she just does that sometimes," Kiba said dryly. He exchanged a bemused expression with Shino. Naruto shrugged and gathered Hinata up into his arms.

"I'll get her to an empty bed... Anyway, heal up fast Mutt, got it?"

"Yeah yeah, you too Dumbass," Kiba smirked. Naruto nodded and walked out the door, Hinata held in his arms. Shino glanced over at Kiba.

"He seemed... Different."

"Yeah, he did..." Kiba shrugged. "Eh, he's still after Pinky's ass, so I wouldn't worry."

"If I thought there was reason to be worried, he would not have gotten out of this room alive," Shino noted. Kiba laughed.

"This is why you're such a fun guy..."

* * *

"C'monnn!"

"No!"

"C'monnnn!"

"Naruto, no!"

The original Naruto gave Shizune his very best kicked puppy expression. Combined with his bandages and whiskers and Tsunade's disciple found her will sorely tested.

"Please, Shizune-neee-chaaan?"

_Must resist... Don't look into his eyes... Damnit I looked!_

"I..." The ramen box in her hands felt very warm, as did her cheeks. Red Naruto swatting her bottom was still fresh in her mind and her hormones. What could she say, it had been a _very_ long time since anyone had touched her in such a way.

Well, aside from that night with a really drunk Tsunade and a spatula...

"Please... Just a little ramen? Just a little can't hurt, can it?" Naruto pleaded. "I'll take you out and get you more later, I promise!"

"Well..." Shizune thought about it, trying not to think about Naruto's request in terms of a date. After all, it wouldn't be-Naruto was perfectly innocent, just thinking in terms of repaying his big sister.

Even though Red Naruto had made it clear that he most definitely _wasn't_ innocent...

"... Maybe..." She moved closer to Naruto, staring into his bright blue eyes. She held the ramen before her stomach, and the blonde breathed deeply of the delicious scent.

"Just this... Once," she murmured.

"Yeah... It's not a big deal, right?" Naruto said back quietly, hands slowly rising to the box. His hands brushed over Shizune's, sending a bit of a pleasant shock through both of them, and now red decorated both of their cheeks. Naruto licked his lips, the ramen was so close. Shizune licked her lips in return, slowly sliding the box into his hands, letting the rough texture of his fingers and palms run over her smooth, silky skin-

A hand slapped the ramen box clean through the window, falling to the street below.

"Am I interrupting something?" Tsunade asked flatly. Shizune flushed and took a step back, while Naruto gaped at the Godaime Hokage in abject horror.

"You... You... YOU KILLED MY RAMEN!" Naruto cried out.

"And I'd kill you for being so stupid, but that would defeat the purpose of having you in the hospital now wouldn't it?" Tsunade said, pushing Naruto down into the bed with a single finger. Naruto growled at her.

"Damnit baa-chan! I got two fucking Chidori shoved through my chest _and_ had to fight to keep my soul from being eaten by the Kyuubi, all while managing to bring Sasuke back! A little ramen is the least you could give me!"

"You brought back Sasuke, yes, but you also brought a whole new category of headaches to me too," Tsunade replied. "So let's start with the most obvious one-Your twin."

"What about him?" Naruto asked.

"He tried to eat your soul," Tsunade said. "Quite frankly I'd be happy to find a way to destroy him if it didn't mean it might kill you too."

"Oh c'mon Baa-chan! He's not _that_ bad," Naruto said. "I mean... He just did what he had to because if he lost the fight, he would no longer exist. Kyuubi made a copy of all my memories and stuff... He is pretty much just me."

"Maybe you should start at the beginning," Tsunade suggested.

Naruto launched into the story of what had happened inside his mind, Tsunade mentally checking the original Naruto's story against that of the Other. By the end of it, everything had checked out... But it didn't alleviate her concern.

"I'm still not sure about this," Tsunade said. "He is essentially a minor demon attached to your soul."

"Yeah Baa-chan, but... C'mon. We should at least give him a chance. I know how I might've turned out if I hadn't been given one by _someone_," Naruto said. Tsunade sighed.

"... All right... But the moment he does anything to mess with the seal, he's gone. Understood?"

Naruto grumbled, but nodded his assent.

"Fine, fine... Ramen killer," he mumbled the last part.

"What was that?" Tsunade growled, arm already around Naruto's neck in a headlock.

"URK! I-I said, ergh, y-you're a ramen killer!"

"What's wrong with the hospital food?! It's good for you! Maybe if you stopped eating so much ramen you wouldn't be so _short!_"

"I AM NOT SHORT! LET GO YOU CRAZY OLD WOMAN! SHIZUNE-NEE-CHAN, HELP!"

"Ah, Tsunade-sama! C-Calm down!"

"Call me a crazy old woman will you brat?!"

"Yeah I will you old HAG!"

"BRAT!"

"HAG!"

"BRAT!"

"HAG!"

Shizune sighed, and waited it out. There really wasn't much else she could do at this point, and it kept her from looking in Naruto's direction. That just tended to make her blush and feel a bit… Fluttery in her stomach.

Maybe some ramen would help? She was so hungry…

* * *

"NARUTO GET BACK HERE!"

_Geez, she's got more stamina than I thought,_ Red Naruto thought as he laid Hinata down on a hospital bed. Sakura's yell just confirmed what he already knew-His clone was circling back around. Absently he wondered how long Sakura could keep this up. _Guess I'll find out... Damn can her anger go._

He sat down on Hinata's bed and waited for her to wake back up. Absently, he held up a hand and began forming a proto-rasengan. He was pleased to discover that while in the real world, he didn't have quite as much chakra as he had inside Naruto's soul, his chakra control had gone up by a fair amount. That would make his plans far easier to enact.

_Though that depends on what kind of plans I decide to make,_ he thought. He was reasonably sure the Idiot would vouch for him-That's how they were. Second chances. For that matter, Red Naruto felt the same way. He was, however, very aware that this could be used against you. In any event, Red Naruto was satisfied he would be allowed to live.

Hence, what was he going to do? Legally speaking he _wasn't_ Naruto. He wasn't a ninja. He was probably something akin to a summon, which also didn't have any legal rights. Still, it wasn't terrible-He at least existed. He also very much wanted to _keep_ existing.

Therefore, for the foreseeable future, he was going to have to see about getting stronger, and making the Idiot stronger. More than just strength though, he needed to pound some common sense and grow some creativity in the blonde's hard head. Akatsuki would come for him, and pushing Naruto to become powerful and smart enough to take them on was probably his main priority.

He chuckled and shook his head as he held a hand over his proto-Rasengan. The thing wasn't focused enough to become the actual technique, but it was better than it would be usually.

"Hmmm..."

"Ah... N-Naruto-kun?"

Red Naruto turned his head at Hinata, who was now blinking at him with wide eyes. He then smiled.

"Hey Hinata-chan! You're awake! I'm glad."

"Ah, I-I'm sorry..." She looked around. "D-Did you bring me here?"

"Yeah! You okay? I mean, I know I'm good looking, but I don't want to be so handsome I make pretty girls hurt themselves when they pass out," Red Naruto teased. At this, Hinata's blush grew, and she began tapping her fingers together.

"Ah... Um... Er...!"

"Hey Hinata-chan, you okay?" Naruto asked. Hinata's eyes darted around, finally locking onto the proto-Rasengan spinning in the boy's palms.

"Ah, N-Naruto-kun? Is... Is that...?"

"Huh? Oh! This? Yeah, it's the Rasengan," Naruto said with a grin. Hinata gasped, and instinctively her bloodline limit came online.

"W-Wow," she murmured, watching the legendary jutsu in action. She could tell it wasn't perfect-The chakra density was too low for the shaping of the energy-but it was the beginnings of the technique.

"I can do the real thing, but uh, it's tricky," Naruto admitted.

"Wh-Why?"

"Chakra control," Naruto said bluntly. "Mine sucks. I've got too much of it." He sighed and looked down at the proto-Rasengan as it spun, imagining it to be a miniature storm in his hands. "That, and well... I'll be honest, it's hard to use."

"B-Because it's so sh-short range?" Hinata guessed. Red Naruto blinked at her and grinned. She blushed prettily this time, a hint of red over her pale cheeks.

"Yeah! I mean, I can't throw it, I can just use it as a punch. That, and it takes a while to make one. I can only make a complete one with a clone to help me shape it." He frowned as he thought about it. It was just one thing on his list of things to address in training. After all, anything Naruto knew, he knew, and if he could get the Idiot to make the Rasengan into more than a finishing move...

Hinata was watching the Rasengan intently with her Byakugan, mentally tracing every path the chakra took. It was incredible to look at-The air was spiraling around, pushed by Naruto's chakra to circle in many different directions. The problem was, as she saw it, was that there wasn't anything but Naruto's own chakra keeping it circulating-As a result, the sphere couldn't reach a kind of critical mass to become a perfect sphere.

"If I could make them more quickly, then they'd be more useful, but it's kind of tough since all I've got moving the thing is my own chakra," Red Naruto stated. Hinata looked up and stared at her crush. He blinked at her.

"What?"

"Th-That's right, N-Naruto-kun," she said. "Th-That's what I'm seeing..."

"Really? Hey, what else do you see?" Naruto asked eagerly. Hinata focused back on the proto-Rasengan, looking thoughtful.

"W-Well... Um... I-It seems to k-keep going, um, off-b-balance," she offered shyly. Inwardly, she was very proud of herself-She was sitting on a bed with her crush, and she hadn't passed out!

"Off balance huh?" Red said thoughtfully. Hinata nodded.

"R-Right..."

Red Naruto hummed, and then pulled his hand away from the proto-Rasengan. He narrowed his eyes and concentrated. "Hnnngh...!"

Chakra flared into existence in his other palm, and began to spin up. The breeze kicked up by his first proto-Rasengan now effectively doubled, as two unstable versions of the technique rotated. Hinata's eyes widened as she noticed the obvious-The two proto-Rasengans were _spinning in opposite directions!_

Red Naruto slowly turned his palms to face eachother, and slowly brought the two techniques together. The wind picked up, and the two proto-Rasengan spun faster, driven by the other's power. Hinata watched every moment, amazed as she saw the wild chakra begin to spin together, each side speeding the other up while providing a stable point of rotation.

_Naruto-kun is so amazing! And-And I was able to help him!_ She smiled, and Naruto smiled with her as the two whirlwinds began to coalesce into a sphere.

Admittedly, he'd already done this inside Naruto's soul, but he hadn't tried it out here _or_ without a clone to provide a second Rasengan. This was _huge_! He just needed to train, make the formation faster and-!

The Rasengan fully formed, wobbled, and then promptly burst. Much like a balloon, actually. If a balloon were filled with the raw energy of a small, tightly-packed cyclone.

_BOOOOM!_

Red Naruto became aware of things... Some time after the Rasengan went up. One of those things was that he was lying on someone. A someone who happened to be one Hyuuga Hinata. A Hyuuga Hinata who was completely, totally naked. A condition he shared.

"..."

"..." Hinata promptly passed out with a huge nosebleed, and Red Naruto barely kept himself aware due to a large part of his bloodstream deciding to evacuate through his nose. Holding his nostrils tightly shut, he looked around the destroyed hospital room and the shocked Haruno Sakura staring through the door.

His clone looked at the situation within, shrugged, and gave him a cheeky wave. "On your own, boss!"

"I am _such_ an asshole," Red Naruto muttered, as Sakura continued to stare. "Uh... Sakura... This isn't what it looks like..."

A bit of drool dripped out of the corner of Sakura's mouth, as did a drop of blood... Before she came to her senses.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOO!"

"Aw _crap!_"

* * *

"So when can I see Sasuke anyway?" Naruto asked. He was still scowling at Tsunade after their argument, but at least he was staying in the bed. Tsunade sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"As soon as his interrogation is over..."

"What?! Interrogation?!" The younger blonde demanded.

"Yes Naruto, his _interrogation_, which is the _least_ we can do to someone who tried to betray their village!" Tsunade growled. "If he was not the _last_ of his clan, or _your friend_, I'd have had him executed. There is no excuse for what he did, _none._"

"B-But the Cursed Seal-!"

"The Cursed Seal can be influential, yes, but Mitarashi Anko, who _was_ Orochimaru's apprentice and, up until his defection, his most loyal follower and _also_ has a Cursed Seal, _didn't go to him_," Tsunade growled. The Godaime Hokage sighed and raised her fingers to pinch her forehead.

"I know it isn't easy to accept, brat, but he was willing to betray everything and everyone he knew, _and_, I might add, _try to kill you_, just for his own obsession with revenge."

"But... He didn't kill me," Naruto said, uncharacteristically quiet.

"He sure as hell _tried._"

"Yeah, but... Right there at the end, when he could've used the Chidori on me... He just knocked me out." Naruto looked up at Tsunade with determined eyes. "I'm sure he can be pulled out of this, I'm sure of it! He just needs some sense knocked into him!"

"If he was stupid enough to go to Orochimaru for power, I'm not sure anything short of death would do that," Tsunade said flatly. "I'm not willing to let him free in order to try again."

Naruto growled at her. He then sighed and closed his eyes tightly.

"Baa-chan... Please... Don't imprison him. That's all I ask, I _know_ I can get through to him! I know him, I really do! He's an idiot, yeah, but I... I can kind of understand how he's thinking." He looked up at Tsunade pleadingly.

"Tsunade-chan... Please?"

The Hokage was silent for a time, arms crossed underneath her breasts as she stared back at Naruto. With considerable reluctance obvious in her expression, she sighed.

"It wouldn't look make us look very strong, right now, if it became known that our last Uchiha had tried to betray our village and go to one of our worst enemies." She narrowed her eyes at Naruto. "Understand then, that he's _your_ responsibility. If he so much as _looks_ towards Sound Village... That's it. He'll be imprisoned permanently."

Naruto stared at her in some shock for a second, before smiling and lunging out of the hospital bed to hug her.

"Thanks Baa-chan, thank you!"

Tsunade sighed and affectionately ruffled his hair, before she unceremoniously shoved Naruto back into his bed.

"GAH! Hey!"

"It doesn't mean you can just get out of that bed though!" Tsunade growled. "You're still recovering!"

"But-But I feel fine! Besides, you let my twin go around!"

"One, he's supervised, and two, _he isn't as badly injured as you!_" Tsunade shouted, the force of her voice making everything small in the room rattle. She turned her gaze on Shizune, who had up until this point been standing silently in the back of the room.

"Make sure he doesn't get out of this room, Shizune. You're his personal nurse _and_ guard until I deem him healed, understood?"

"Yes Tsunade-sama," Shizune said.

"HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"As your doctor _and_ your Hokage, I damn well can!" Tsunade growled back at Naruto. She looked back at her disciple, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Do whatever you have to," she murmured, before she grew a little smirk. "Though I suggest sex as a last resort," she added, too low for Naruto to hear.

"TSU-TSUNADE-SAMA?!" Shizune cried, face burning red. Tsunade's sighed and raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, if you insist, a _first_ resort," the Hokage said, before slipping out the door. Shizune's cheeks were burning brightly as she watched her go, before her attention returned to Naruto. He looked confused.

"Shizune-nee-chan? What did she mean by 'first resort'?"

"Ah, um, n-n-nothing!" Shizune managed. Naruto glared over Shizune's shoulder.

"Oi, Baa-chan! What did you mean?"

"Eh?" Shizune instinctively turned to look over her shoulder. _I thought she already left-HEY!_

"Naruto!"

The blonde had managed to make it to the window. He cursed as Shizune saw through his ploy, but still tried to get out. In an instant, Shizune had her arms around him and was dragging him back to bed.

"GAH! SHIZUNE-NEE-CHAN, I'M FINE! LET ME GO!"

"No, you get right back in bed and you _stay there!_"

Naruto stopped his struggling for a second. "I'll only do it if you let me have some ramen."

Shizune groaned. "I-I'm sorry Naruto... I ate it all."

"WHAT?!"

"I-I was hungry!" She protested. Naruto looked up at her with such a pathetic expression, she felt her grip loosen.

"How... How could you?" He sniffled. "Sh-Shizune-nee-chan... Is so _mean!_"

"I-I am not mean! It's-It's for your own good! I-I promise, I _promise_, as soon as you're out of the hospital, we'll go have ramen! I really, _really_ promise!"

Naruto sniffled, eyes shining. "But... But I haven't had any for so long!"

"I know..."

"And-And you ate some in the same room... And didn't leave any for me!"

"Well, it's not good for you when you're recovering," Shizune protested.

"You're still _mean!_"

"I am not!" Shizune flushed. A rather treacherous part of her mind suggested she show Naruto just how _nice_ she could be, but she quickly suppressed it.

Naruto sniffled, looking his most pathetic. "If you weren't mean, you'd let me have some ramen~!"

"I'm not mean!" Shizune pushed Naruto, as gently as she could, back into his bed. "Now, please Naruto, let me go."

"Not until you get me some ramen," Naruto insisted. Shizune sighed.

"No. You can pout all you like, b-but I won't do it!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please~?" Naruto asked, actually batting his eyes. Shizune felt her heart break at how sad and pathetic he looked.

"W-Well... Um..." _No! Must stay strong! It's for his own good! Tsunade-sama is counting on me!_

"I'd do the same for you if you were in the hospital," Naruto said. "I promise! You know how I am about those!"

"Er..." Shizune tried. Her chakra senses twitched, and she looked back at the window.

"NARUTO!"

The real Naruto groaned, as his clone in the hospital bed poofed into smoke. Shizune grabbed him and shoved him back into the bed, using some of her enhanced strength to do it.

"I can't believe this! You shouldn't be using any jutsu anyway!" Shizune growled. Naruto sighed.

"I'm sorry Shizune-nee-chan... I just really, _really_ want some ramen, that's all..."

Shizune sighed. "I know... But you have to rest!"

"But resting sucks! There's nothing to do!" Naruto groused. Again, Shizune found herself suppressing a certain part of her mind.

"Well..." Shizune thought about it. "What do you usually do when you're not... Eating ramen, or training?"

Naruto blinked at her and stared for a while. Shizune stared back. The silence dragged on.

"Ummm... I do garden a little?"

"That's good," Shizune said slowly.

"Haven't been back to check my plants lately though," Naruto said. Shizune sighed.

"You know Naruto, if you had more hobbies, maybe you wouldn't get so bored when you had nothing else to do?"

"You're right Shizune-nee-chan! I need to go get some more hobbies! I'll go right now!" Naruto said, trying to get back up.

"No, you won't!" Shizune growled, pushing Naruto back into the bed. Naruto sighed, and looked up at her with a determined expression.

"Then you leave me no choice... Sorry about this, Shizune-nee-chan..." He then reached up and undid her kimono belt. Shizune's entire face flushed as she froze in shock.

"Eh?! N-Naruto, what are you doing-?!"

"TICKLE ATTACK!" Naruto cried, hands going right for her bare stomach. Shizune's eyes widened.

"Mmph-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! N-NARUTO, ST-STOP! HAHAHAHAHAHA! H-HEY, N-NO, STOP IT, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

"I can't believe this! I-I vouched for you, I refrained from hitting you in your bed, and now I find you m-molesting Hinata in a HOSPITAL ROOM! You pervert, Naruto! I can't believe I really can't..." Sakura trailed off. She couldn't hear Naruto's apologies. With a scowl, she looked back over her shoulder, away from Naruto's hospital room.

"NARUTO!"

Red Naruto glanced away from Hinata with an annoyed expression. His eyes narrowed-One normal, one already puffy from Sakura's fist.

"Yes, Sakura-chan?" He asked patiently. Hinata was bright red. The reason was easy to see, unfortunately for Sakura's self-esteem. With their clothing destroyed, Hinata and Naruto had been forced to grab some scrubs from the nurse's station. Naruto was currently wearing navy blue scrubs, as they hadn't had any orange. Hinata had been given some light blue scrubs which, thanks to her lack of underwear, showed off just how... _Developed_ she was.

_Damnit, what the hell does that girl eat?!_ Sakura thought angrily. She blushed as she remembered Naruto's words about that subject previously, but shook her head quickly to try and not focus on Hinata's... Attributes.

"Aren't you listening to anything I'm saying?!"

"Sakura-chan, you know I'm not a pervert, right?" Red Naruto asked with a tired sigh. "C'mon, you know me. Which is more likely? A jutsu I was working on blew up in me and Hinata's faces... And blew off our clothes... And blew us into a compromising position... Just in time for you to show up and see us..." Naruto trailed off and grimaced.

"You know, now that I think about it..."

"There, you see! I mean, I said you weren't a pervert, and here you are, doing things with Hinata!" Sakura growled.

"H-He wasn't d-doing anything!" Hinata stuttered. "H-He was telling the tr-truth!"

"Yeah! Listen to Hinata-chan! She'd never lie about this!" Red Naruto said enthusiastically. Mentally he cursed his inability to just stand up to Sakura on his own terms, but for some reason, the woman was _scary_.

And violent.

And obsessed with Sasuke.

And had the figure of a nine year old boy.

...Why did he have a crush on her again?

_... No idea..._ Red Naruto shrugged, and wrapped an arm around Hinata's shoulders. _Eh, Blue Eyes can have her._

"Even so!" Sakura growled. "What else am I supposed to think when I walk into something like that?!"

"Y-You could... Tr-Trust Naruto-kun?" Hinata managed softly. At Naruto and Sakura's stares, she flushed and looked at the floor. Red Naruto, however, siezed the moment and looked at Sakura with a sad expression.

"Yeah Sakura-chan... I mean... We are teammates, right? We've fought together, and we've saved eachother's lives. Can't you believe me when I say I'm not lying?"

Sakura stared at Naruto, the anger in her eyes fading. She bit her lower lip in guilt.

"Well..." She sighed and turned away. Naruto moved over and rested his hand on Sakura's shoulder. She started and stared back at him. He smiled back, trustingly, warmly.

"I know you don't like me like I like you, Sakura-chan, but... I think what we've been through together makes us, at least, friends, right? And friends trust eachother. Don't you think so?"

Sakura slowly nodded, and managed a small smile. "Y-Yeah..."

"So... C'mon. What do you say?" Red Naruto asked. Sakura nodded, and her smile grew.

"You're right Naruto. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions." She laughed and moved towards the hospital room door. Red Naruto looked back at Hinata and beamed at her warmly, to which the Hyuuga heiress blushed and smiled happily. He waved her over before turning to follow Sakura into the hospital room.

"Yeah, see? I'm totally not a per..."

"HAHAHAHAHA! ST-STOP IT SHIZUNE-NEE-CHAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NEVER! HAHAHAHA! S-SURREN-Ah?"

"...vert."

Red Naruto blinked. A half-naked Shizune and Naruto blinked back. The latter two were atop Naruto's bed, Shizune on top, with her hands splayed across the blonde's bare abdomen. Naruto's hands were inside her open kimono, which even now demonstrated that not only did Shizune have a very _healthy_ bust, but a very firm and supple one.

Red Naruto glanced over at his own female companions. Sakura's face kept switching back and forth between rage, disbelief, and lust (judging from the spit and blood drooling out of her mouth and nose, respectively). A thud behind him told him what had happened to Hinata.

As Sakura's killing intent rose to Orochimaru levels, Red Naruto sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

* * *

_Please review. _


	3. The Aftermath: An Evil Plan

The Red Mirror

_A Naruto Fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz, and other companies, and it's creator is Kishimoto Masashi. I am not writing this for profit._

_Take a concept from one manga, and take it for a spin and twist in another…

* * *

_

"Owww..."

Naruto winced sympathetically at his twin. Sakura had proceeded to beat the stuffing out of him, before giving Naruto and Shizune a rant that nearly tore the wallpaper off. Her anger spent (on them anyway), she'd stalked off.

Hinata had been placed on the spare hospital bed in the room, while Red Naruto sat next to Naruto's bed. Shizune had run off, red faced, with the excuse of going to the bathroom and an admonishment to Red Naruto to keep the original in bed.

"Guess she hasn't lost her touch, huh?" Naruto managed to joke. Red Naruto scowled at him, rubbing his bruised forehead.

"Bite me, Blue Eyes. Just for that..." He pulled out a storage scroll, and released one with a poof of smoke. He pulled out a container of ramen, and with a pair of chopsticks attached to it, he began to eat. Naruto's jaw dropped, and he began to drool.

"Hey, hey... You brought me ramen?" Naruto asked. Red Naruto rolled his eyes.

"No, this is _my_ ramen."

"What?!" Naruto gaped. His twin just snorted.

"After my day, I am having _my_ ramen, which is for nobody but _me,_ so fuck you."

"B-But, but-BUT C'MON! YOU'RE ME!"

"Yes, you're me, and as a result, I can totally imagine how horrible this must be for you, after getting into a tickle fight with Shizune-nee-chan," Red Naruto said, noisily slurping up some noodles. He took the time to chew them, and then swallowed. "Mmmm..."

"You... You _bastard_," Naruto hissed, "you're just going to eat that ramen _in front of me?!_"

Red Naruto looked thoughtful for a long moment. He then rolled more noodles onto his chopsticks, and raised them, tortuously slowly, up to his lips. Just before he took this portion into his mouth, he looked at Naruto out of the corners of his eyes... And just _grinned_.

"Yeeeeep."

"RAWRRRR-GAH!"

Naruto flailed his arms frantically, as Red Naruto casually kept his face planted into the floor with his foot.

"Now now, you'll only aggravate your injuries," Red admonished.

"MNGRLE MPH!"

"Such language!" Red Naruto said. Naruto snarled and tried to push himself back up to his feet. Unfortunately, Red Naruto's foot kept pinned, without any visible effort on the red eyed copy's part.

"D-Damnit! How the hell are you doing that?!"

"It's not that hard. One, you're still recovering. And two, I'm boosting my strength a little with my chakra," Red Naruto explained. He lifted his foot off the back of Naruto's head, before grabbing the original by his shoulders and tossing him into his bed.

"OOF!" Naruto stared at his counterpart. "Wait, but how?"

"Simple," Red Naruto said. "You know how much faster and stronger we were while using the Fox's chakra?"

"Yeah?" Naruto asked.

"Well, the Kyuubi's chakra is a lot denser than ours, and a lot more potent," Red Naruto explained. "I can't do anything about the potency part... I'm just like that _naturally_," he said with a smirk. At Naruto's scowl, Red Naruto sighed.

"Short version is, using the techniques we use to walk on water and stick to trees, I just built up the chakra in my body and kept it contained inside my leg, which increased my strength." Red Naruto shook his head. "Any idiot can do it."

"Which explains how you-"

"Think carefully before you say that, you'll be insulting yourself," Red Naruto said. Naruto scowled, but said nothing more. "Good... Which brings me to something important I wanted to talk to you about. Now that you're awake."

"What?"

"Well, here's the situation: If you die, I die, and I really have no interest in dying, Blue Eyes. I _like_ living," Red Naruto explained. "So! I'm going to train the hell out of you until you're strong enough to _not_ die."

"You're going to train me? But-But you only know what I know!" Naruto said.

"And with just what you know, I was able to kick your ass."

"I-I still beat you!"

"Yes, through sheer. Dumb. Luck." Red shook his head. "Which ain't gonna save us every single time. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to not leave living to chance. So! I'll train you, you pass on what you learn from Ero-Sennin to me, we call it even if you don't die."

Naruto frowned and thought it over. "... Okay, you've got a deal... ONLY if you share some ramen with me."

Red Naruto smirked. _Too easy..._ "All right..." He looked back at the door, as Shizune returned. The Hokage's disciple looked red-faced and sweaty, and her scent made him grin.

"Hey, Shizune-nee-chan. Can I give Idiot Boy here some ramen? It's just to seal a deal."

"Ah? Er..." _No! Don't look into his eyes! Not again! I... DAMNIT!_

At Naruto's pleading expression, she sighed and nodded.

"All right..."

"YAY! I love you, Shizune-nee-chan!" Red Naruto blinked, and scowled as he found his hands suddenly empty. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, as Naruto messily devoured the box of ramen. Neither blonde paid much attention to Shizune, who was well on her way to beating Hinata's blush intensity.

Hinata, meanwhile, had deepened her breathing slightly, but not quite enough to be noticed by either Naruto...

* * *

Red Naruto's clone had cheerfully slipped away from Sakura, and right out of the hospital into the fresh air and sunshine. He briefly entertained going to eat more ramen, but, almost uncharacteristically, the thought was discarded in favor of a new distraction.

"Hmmm...?" Red Naruto blinked at the flower shop display, and cocked his head. He could spy an exasperated Ino through the window. The reason was obvious.

"Hmmm... Sakura-chan," he thought aloud. The pinkette was raving about something, which the blonde girl was tolerating. Red Naruto couldn't imagine why this was-In his experience, most girls were always talking about something. Sure, he liked to talk too, but mainly because he didn't have many people to talk to on a regular basis. Girls talked _all the time_. Frankly, it was a little weird to Red Naruto.

_Hey, wait!_ The clone thought, grinning. _That's perfect!_

His creator wasn't going far enough! He just wanted to make sure the original _survived_. Which was good, Red Naruto didn't want to die any more than his creator. But there was so much more to life than just... Well, _living_.

_Like girls!_ Cute, curvy, nice girls like Hinata. Hot, curvy, dangerous girls like Anko. Curvy, kind and understanding girls like Shizune-nee-chan. Aw hell, girls in general were great! Especially curvy ones.

He saw Ino look at him, and he stared back. He glanced over at Sakura, then questioningly at her. Ino blinked in mild confusion, before rolling her eyes. Red Naruto grinned, and entered the flower shop, loudly ringing the bell.

"Hey Sakura-WOAH!"

"Damnit Naruto, what now?!" Sakura growled at him, rechambering her leg for another kick. Red Naruto dodged that one too, and backflipped over the counter to land behind a surprised Ino.

"Honestly Sakura-chan, I send a clone all the way down here to get you some flowers in apology, and you just decide to beat me up! Again!" He sighed and pushed Ino out of the way of a thrown pot. "I just can't win!"

"SAKURA! Watch the merchandise!" Ino admonished. She then shoved Red Naruto away from her with a scowl. "As for you..."

"Ino-chan! Just the girl I wanted to see!" Red Naruto grinned. He leaned in close to her, making the blonde girl blush.

"Wh-What?"

"I need some advice on girls." He glanced at Sakura, who was fuming at him. Ino raised an eyebrow.

"Better late than never...?"

"I mean, part of my problem is that I don't know how not to piss them off," Red Naruto mused. He shrugged. "That might be just Sakura-chan though."

"DAMNIT NARUTO!"

"Ah ah ah! Please? Private conversation? Just a minute Sakura-chan, I promise I'll get back to you in a moment," Red Naruto said politely. Ignoring the gobsmacked stare the pinkette now wore, Red Naruto turned back to Ino, who was also rather shocked.

"... Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Naruto?" Ino asked at last. Red Naruto grinned ferally, and leaned in a bit closer to Ino. He was pleased at the red blush on her cheeks.

"Let's just say I've had an upgrade," he purred, before pulling back out of Ino's personal space. He smiled cheerfully.

"So, how about it Ino? Tell me about girls, and how wonderful and amazing and... Well, confusing they really are! Please, please?"

"... And... What would I get in return?" Ino asked. Red Naruto sighed.

"I already brought back Sasuke, what more do you want?"

"Eh?! You-You did?" Ino asked. She shot a look at Sakura. The pinkette sighed.

"I was... Going to tell you," she offered. Ino scowled.

"When?"

"Well... When I had more news on him... Naruto? Don't you have anything more on him?" Sakura asked. Red Naruto hummed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Not yet. They're not telling me anything."

"Even so, I would've liked to know if Chouji and Shikamaru's mission was _successful_," Ino ground out. Sakura held up her hands.

"I-I swear, Ino, I was going to tell you!"

"Yeah! She was! I just kind of pissed her off on accident. Please, don't blame Sakura-chan," Red Naruto interjected quickly. Ino gave Red Naruto a formidable look, before it slightly softened.

"Well... At least you got him back... What happened, anyway?"

"Ah..." Sakura tried. Once more, Red Naruto came to the rescue. Not like he was keeping count.

"It's complicated... But! He's back, and he should be fine. Soon."

Ino gave them both hard stares, which both members of Team 7 returned carefully. The blonde girl at last sighed, and glared at them.

"I know you both know more than you're telling... But I'll let it slide, for now."

"Aw... You do trust us, Ino-chan!" Red Naruto said cheerfully. Sakura managed her own smile at her best friend, which Ino mirrored. She then turned to Red Naruto and sighed.

"So... You want to know about girls, huh?"

Red Naruto nodded. "Mmhm."

"Any girl in particular?" Ino asked. Red Naruto hummed.

"Well... Hinata-chan would be great! Or Shizune-nee-chan! Or you!"

"Me?" Ino asked. Red Naruto grinned.

"Yeah! You're a pretty girl! I'd like to go on a date with you!"

Ino blinked. She blinked again. She then looked over at Sakura, whose jaw seemed to be trying to push through the floor into the center of the Earth.

"And what makes you think I'd want to go on a date with you, anyway?" She asked flatly.

"I'd go anywhere you wanted, I'd pay, and I'm great at parties," Red Naruto grinned.

Ino blinked again, and glanced over at Sakura, who was glaring furiously at the male blonde. She felt a mental lightbulb go off over her head, and she internally grinned.

_Oh ho? Is this right, Naruto? You're going to try to _ignore_ Sakura into liking you? Try to make her jealous? Hmm... I know she kind of likes the attention, so this... This is clever. And if Sakura gets desperate enough... Heheheheheh... Perfect! This should make things very interesting..._

In addition, Ino admitted to herself that she wanted, no, _needed_ a break. Worrying herself sick over Chouji and Shikamaru had taken it's toll over the past two days, and now that they were going to be all right, she wanted to unwind. It wasn't like Naruto couldn't be coached-She imagined that's how he saw the date, as a means of learning about women.

Which, from the looks of it, hadn't crossed Sakura's mind.

"You've got yourself a date, Naruto," Ino said cheerfully. "Pick me up... Mm... At around 6 tonight? Dress in something nice... Say, black. I think you'd look good in it."

"Thanks Ino-chan! I'll see you then!" Red Naruto hopped over the counter, and procured a random bouquet of flowers. He quickly paid for them, before turning to Sakura and handing them over.

"Here you go, Sakura-chan. Sorry about everything. I'll see you later!" He then ran right out the door, leaving Sakura to stare after him. Ino smiled cattily, and leaned over the counter.

"Well... Wasn't that nice of him? Hmmm... I think I'll close up early..." She turned and headed into the back, humming a tune. Leaving Sakura to stare down at the flowers, alone.

Thinking.

* * *

Kakashi let out an inaudible sigh as he walked down the hallway. Ibiki Morino walked alongside him, in contrast completely as peace in the bowels of the T&I Section.

"He's in here," Ibiki stated flatly, taking the handle of a cell door. A pulse of chakra went through the sealwork decorating it, releasing the locking system. Slowly, the door creaked open, revealing a single, dirty genin in chains.

"I'll take it from here," Kakashi said. Ibiki nodded, and moved enough to allow Kakashi into the cell. Another burst of chakra, and the cell door slammed shut behind him.

The jounin was silent, his hands tucked in his pockets. Sasuke also made no noise, eyes blindfolded.

At length, Kakashi sighed, and began to speak.

"... When I was 13, shortly after I was promoted to jounin, my team was assigned the mission of destroying a bridge in Kusa no Kuni. Iwagakure was using this bridge to move their forces into the country, a major front during the War."

Sasuke said nothing, but his head rose slightly. That let Kakashi know that he was, at least, listening.

"On our way to the bridge, two Iwa ninja kidnapped our medic, named Rin. My teammate, Uchiha Obito, insisted that we go and save her. I said no. My father had sacrificed a vital mission to save his comrades. Because of it, he'd been disgraced and committed seppuku."

Now he definitely had Sasuke's attention. Kakashi continued, his soft voice strangely loud in the tiny cell.

"Obito refused my order, telling me that my father was a hero before he headed off on his own to save Rin. I thought about what he said... Thought about Rin. She had always been kind to me, though I did not return her romantic feelings. I also thought about Obito. How he felt we were trash for abandoning our friend to the enemy."

Kakashi paused, and closed his eyes for a moment. He reopened them and continued, no longer in the cell but far away, in a rocky gully.

"He found the ninja who had taken Rin, and I managed to arrive in time to help him. We fought one of them. Even two against one, we were losing. My eye was sliced clean through while I took a blow for Obito. It was this that was enough for him to activate his Sharingan, and he managed to kill our opponent with it. Out of a desire to protect me."

Kakashi let out a sigh.

"We found Rin in a cave, and while trying to free her, the other ninja who had taken her caused a cave-in. A boulder fell from the roof, threatening to crush me. Obito shoved me out of the way, just in time to save me, but not himself." He reached up and tugged Sasuke's blindfold up, allowing the two Sharingan users to look eyes to eye. Sasuke's remained defiant, angry, while Kakashi's was closed in a mirthless smile.

"He asked Rin, with his dying words, to give me his remaining Sharingan. Rin implanted it in place of my destroyed eye, and with it, I killed the last ninja."

The room was silent once again. Kakashi opened his eyes. Sasuke's Sharingan spun in angry defiance, and the Jounin closed his eye again.

He lowered the blindfold, and turned to the door. He knocked twice, and Ibiki opened it from the outside. Kakashi exited, and Ibiki shut the door with a loud slam.

"The Hokage hasn't given me any orders on what to do with him yet," Ibiki said. Kakashi shook his head.

"Then just keep him here," he said. The torture expert frowned, but said nothing. Even when Kakashi produced a kunai and stabbed himself, bursting into a puff of smoke, he didn't raise so much as an eyebrow.

The question was merely to give Kakashi the means for an out. Ibiki wouldn't have his job if he hadn't been able to tell that.

* * *

A flicker of chakra outside the window caught Red Naruto's attention. As Naruto was too focused on his ramen to really care, the other blonde ninja moved to it, and rolled out onto the roof.

"Eh? Where are you going?" Naruto called. Red Naruto shrugged.

"Need some fresh air," he said. He climbed up the side of the hospital, not waiting for Naruto's reply. Once he reached the roof, he flipped over onto the surface and looked around.

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei! Where are you?"

A moment later, the cyclopean jounin appeared, Icha Icha Paradise no where in sight.

"Yes?" He asked mildly. Red Naruto crossed his arms over his chest.

"So... See Sasuke?"

Kakashi stared at the clone of his most unpredictable student. Red Naruto shrugged.

"Just a guess... Am I right?"

"Yes... How?" Kakashi asked.

"I've noticed a weird chakra flare, like feedback, when one of my Kage Bunshin dies," Red Naruto said. "Including some extra memories."

"It's just one of many uses for the jutsu," Kakashi confirmed. Red Naruto grinned.

"Oh yes, I have so _many_ ideas of how to use it... But spill. What happened?"

Kakashi stared at Red for a bit, before he answered.

"Sasuke reacted as I expected."

"All angry and silent?"

Again, Kakashi found himself surprised at the depth of Red Naruto's insight. The clone smirked.

"You'd be surprised what you can figure out with a bit of an outside perspective on your memories. Anyway... As it is, he's stubborn because he's determined that he's right. He doesn't think he's really been beaten, you know? And he feels he has no reason to stay here."

"And?" Kakashi asked. Red Naruto hummed thoughtfully.

"Well... What we need to do is give him a very big reason to stay here. Right now he's motivated by getting power to kill his big brother. So... We find the means to ensure he'll get that power."

"Such as?"

"Well, there is the fact Orochimaru is from Konoha, and Itachi is from Konoha, and we have _two_ Sannin and people trained by Sannin..." Red Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "A long term solution... We'll have to find one. As for the short term..." Red Naruto closed his eyes.

"Well... In order to evolve his Sharingan, apparently he has to kill his best friend. So..." He reopened his eyes... And grinned.

"Kakashi-sensei... Can you find Jiraiya? I'm going to need his help... And yours."

"What have you got planned?" Kakashi asked, with just the slightest hint of wariness. Red Naruto's grin grew, his sharp canines gleaming in the sunlight.

"I think Blue Eyes and Sasuke have some issues that need to be resolved. But, since he ain't gay... I've got _another_ way to solve it..."

Kakashi had faced many frightening, strange and downright terrifying situations in his life. He was a ninja, after all. But right now, he had to add the truly _evil_ smile on Red Naruto's face to his top ten list. Even fighting the possessed Naruto hadn't been this frightening...

And yet... Like a man presented with a trainwreck, he just couldn't help but watch.

* * *

"... You are all completely insane."

Why oh why oh _why_ wasn't she allowed booze while on duty? Stupid Shizune, stupid job, she couldn't take this madness while sober!

Red Naruto merely grinned and shrugged. "Yes? And? Your point being?"

"Never stopped us before," Jiraiya said, also grinning. He'd been easily sold on the brat's plan. One, it actually had a fairly decent chance of working, and two, if it didn't, it'd still be immensely entertaining and Sasuke would be stuck either way. Hell, having _Red_ Naruto do it allowed for the original to serve as the, heheh... Good cop in this situation! It really was brilliant.

Kakashi sighed. "Personally I think it will just make things worse. But... Psychologically, I can understand the motivation. That, and without something significant to change him, Sasuke is going to stay on this path."

That, and Jiraiya promised to write a new _Icha Icha Paradise_ based upon it. The man knew just what buttons to push.

"Completely insane," Tsunade muttered again. "_Completely_!" She glared at Red Naruto, obviously the originator of the plan. There was no way it could not be. Sure, it had Jiraiya's perversion involved, but the goals were firmly Naruto's.

"You do realize if this backfires, you're in for a world of hurt."

"Probably," Red Naruto said. "But I also know that Sasuke won't get better without something to shake him up. Break him apart. Once that's done, we can rebuild him. Stronger, faster, better than he was." Dramatically, Red Naruto pulled a single, old-looking scroll from his jacket and presented it to her. The Uchiha clan symbol was emblazoned proudly on the bindings that held it shut. Her keen senses traced every line of chakra throughout it, intricate sealwork that no one less experienced than the Sannin could argue was not authentic.

"We can do it, Tsunade-nee-chan. We have the fuuinjutsu," Red Naruto concluded. Tsunade felt another headache come on, and she pinched the bridge of her nose to try and stave it off. Predictably, it didn't.

"... You have my permission... But I'm warning you! This is all on your heads! Your broken, perverted, madness filled heads!"

"'Broken, perverted, madness filled heads?'" Jiraiya quoted. "You _have_ been sober too long."

A moment later, a Jiraiya-shaped object was sent flying through the tower wall, far off into the distance. Back in the office, Tsunade slowly lowered her fist, and shot a truly terrifying glare upon the only other inhabitants in the room.

"... I kind of liked it," Red Naruto offered.

"Get out already!"

"Okay okay! Sheesh! You try to compliment someone, and they don't appreciate it!" Red Naruto narrowly avoided being sent flying to the next country himself as he ran out the door. Kakashi vanished in a poof of smoke, leaving Tsunade to sigh.

"... To hell with what Shizune thinks... I'm taking off early today. _Very_ early."

* * *

All Sasuke knew, all he had known for the last two days, was darkness and confinement. Sealed up in this tiny cell, he held onto his anger as it raged and boiled inside him. It was the only thing that felt useful, the only thing that felt _real_.

Naruto... Naruto was the _Kyuubi container._ Suddenly everything he'd seen the blonde idiot do made perfect sense. Of course he'd be strong if he was like Gaara! Packing the Demon King itself in his gut! How could he _not_ be strong?

It wasn't fair. It wasn't _sane_. Had he even had a chance to catch up to him?

What was even more infuriating was that, after all of that, after fighting Naruto will all his strength, defeating the blonde when he was using a tail of the Fox's great power-A tail capable of causing tsunami or destroying _mountains_ with a single blow-what defeated him was a _cheap trick!_ A cheap trick by Naruto!

... Or was it?

Sasuke wasn't a genius for nothing. Sure, he may have underestimated Naruto, but he _knew_ him. Knew how he thought, how he felt. He was... His friend, or the closest thing to a friend he could have.

He was confident enough in how well he knew Naruto, to know that what had caught up to him in the forest, and casually cut the throats of two Oto ninja, was _not_ Naruto. His eyes had been red, his aura had been off, his personality...

_What is he?_ Sasuke wondered. _All that power he wields, all that potential..._

_All that destruction and chaos and rage,_ a smaller part of his mind reminded him. _We faced two things with Naruto's body... One a raging beast, a force of nature. The other..._

The other...

Sasuke shook his head. No. He couldn't afford to forsake his mission. He couldn't afford to have doubts. He needed power, he knew where to get it. It wasn't like Konoha would offer him any now, not after what he'd done.

The cell door opened, and Sasuke immediately picked up who it was. His eyes narrowed behind the blindfold.

_Kakashi..._

The blindfold was lifted, revealing the copy ninja looking as he usually did. Calm, collected, and unreadable. He took a step back, and Sasuke felt the chains binding him release.

"..." Sasuke stared up at Kakashi, momentarily forgetting to activate his Sharingan in confusion. Kakashi, in return, merely pulled a scroll out from his vest and tossed it to him. Sasuke caught it, and his eyes widened at the crest upon it.

"ANBU went through the Uchiha district again," Kakashi said. "I went along this time, to be as thorough as possible. It seems that some parts of it can't be detected without a fully evolved Sharingan." Kakashi pulled his forehead protector up to emphasize his point.

"We found the room beneath the shrine."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in anger at his teacher, and his Sharingan eyes burned red in the dark cell. Kakashi shrugged.

"We found this... However... Only the blood and chakra signature of an Uchiha can open it."

"... Why show me this?" Sasuke asked with a growl. Kakashi said nothing. Sasuke's scowl deepened, and he looked down at the scroll, studying it intently. After a moment's thought, he raised his thumb to his mouth, and bit into it. Blood drawn, he dragged it over the Uchiha fan, while flaring his chakra through his hand.

The scroll popped open, unfurling like a flag. Highly advanced sealwork glowed across the paper for a moment, and then faded, revealing words. Sasuke began to read.

Once he was finished, he read it again. And again. And again. He looked up at Kakashi, then back at the scroll. He read it one more time, before his shoulders began to shake.

"Heh... Heheheh... Hahahaha... HAHAHAAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sasuke laughed for over five minutes, tears running down his cheeks. They were appropriate-He started crying like a baby soon after.

Kakashi didn't make a sound, allowing his student to finish. Ten minutes of pitiful sobbing (and even a bit of thumb sucking) later, Sasuke shakily raised his head to look up at Kakashi.

"... I need... I need to see Naruto."

* * *

_Phase 1 complete. Phase 2? Next chapter. _


	4. The Aftermath: Sasuke, You've Changed

The Red Mirror

_A Naruto Fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz, and other companies, and it's creator is Kishimoto Masashi. I am not writing this for profit._

_Take a concept from one manga, and take it for a spin and twist in another…_

* * *

"Hey Sasuke... This isn't fair, you know? How come you get to be out and about and I have to be stuck in this stupid hospital? No offense, Shizune-nee-chan," Naruto added quickly.

"Ah, none taken..."

Sasuke grumbled, thoughts darker than before. He'd read it a hundred times... He'd even been taken to the Uchiha Compound to look at other documents... And there was no escaping the truth. As much as he wanted to.

_Still... Ultimate power..._

Though he definitely couldn't do this while Kakashi and Shizune were in the room...

"I need some time to think," Sasuke said. Naruto blinked.

"Think about what?"

"Nothing important. To you, at least," Sasuke replied flatly.

Naruto scowled. "Then why'd you visit anyway?"

Sasuke was silent. Kakashi looked over at Shizune, wearing that eye-smile of his.

" I think we'll leave you two alone for now. Shizune?"

"... All right..." Tsunade's disciple gave Sasuke a hard look, and then Naruto a comforting one. The former glowered, while the latter shrugged and smiled back.

"Ah, what about Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked, indicating the still-sleeping Hyuuga heiress on the bed. Kakashi raised an eyebrow for a moment… Then shrugged.

"She's still unconscious. Shouldn't be any trouble," Kakashi said dryly.

The two jounin left, casting the room in a tense silence. Naruto and Sasuke were left to stare at each other for time, until Naruto, never good with silence of this nature, cleared his throat.

"... So... Baa-chan healed you up okay..." He began.

"Yeah," Sasuke said. "You too…"

Naruto shrugged in a non-committal sort of way. Sasuke mentally sighed-Best to get it over with as quickly as possible. The awkwardness would probably rise up and strangle them, but the Uchiha survivor's intent was to have as big a head start on it as possible.

"I want to learn something from you," Sasuke said.

"Eh? What?" Naruto asked, confused even more by this sudden shift in conversation.

"_Oiroke no jutsu."_

"... Why?"

"...To...to become stronger," Sasuke replied, studiously not looking at Naruto. The blonde frowned deeply, his confusion getting even worse. He really didn't think someone like Itachi could be taken out by it, despite his pride in his personal jutsu, but hey, if Sasuke thought it would help, then… Why not?

"Well, sure, why not?" Naruto offered a slight grin. "It can take out a Hokage, ya know!"

"No.".

"No?"

"I mean..." Sasuke took a deep breath. "...I want to become a woman."

Naruto stared.

"Permanently."

Even more staring. Sasuke found himself fidgeting and tried very, very hard to stop.

"... Sasuke, I wasn't going to, but I apologize for smashing you into that cliff face," Naruto said, with utter sincerity. Sasuke's glower grew.

"Naruto!"

"Sasuke! I, I mean… _Why?_"

"Because the Uchiha-clan's strongest abilities are transferred matrilineally."

"… Huh?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and sighed.

"It means, our women pass on and can obtain our strongest abilities."

"So, wait... You're willing to turn into a woman. Permanently. Just for more power?!" Naruto asked, blinking in complete and utter disbelief.

"Yes."

Much additional staring.

"Geez... Well..." Naruto thought it over. "I guess it's better than you running off to Snake Face…"

He glowered.

"You're not going to try to do that again, are you? Cause if you do, I'll break your arms and legs whether you're a girl or a guy!"

Sasuke mentally sighed. It's to kill Itachi… It's to kill Itachi…

"...No. Just… Teach me the Sexy Jutsu and I'll...I'll..." He resigned himself to his fate.  
"Repay you, somehow..."

"Well, you don't have to."

"I want to, you don't get it? I need to become stronger."

"No, I mean, you don't have to repay me," Naruto said in a subdued tone. Sasuke stared in unhidden surprise.

"Oh..." He said quietly. Naruto coughed, feeling the awkwardness just as acutely as he did, and put on a smirk.

"You want to get stronger? Me too. So... Let's get stronger together, okay?"

Sasuke stared for a while longer, before nodding. Naruto grinned.

"All right... Pay attention! _Henge_!" _POOF_! The bed now held Naruko, still wearing bandages and a hospital gown, but on her the appearance was adorable. Almost reminded Sasuke of some manga or something he'd seen before…

"How's this?" Naruto asked. Sasuke activated his Sharingan. Through the vision it granted, the jutsu was just... Weird. Definitely not a normal henge, that was for sure. The important thing though was that it worked. That was what counted

"Alright." Sasuke copied the jutsu, and quickly performed the handseals. Naruto released his jutsu in response.

"_Henge!"_

_POOF!_

There was a significant amount of smoke from them both, which took its time to clear out. When it did, Naruto's staring changed focus.

Sasuke's facial features were the first thing Naruto observed. It was still the same face for the most part, but much softer and less pointed. Kind of a classical beauty, he decided, like those traditional women in kimonos you saw in history books.

Overall she had lost one or two centimeters in height but her figure was decidedly… Fuller. Not quite as developed as Hinata (still peacefully sleeping away) but significantly more curvy than Sakura. Her legs seemed longer, and without losing her tone it gave the appearance of (if Naruto was poetically inclined) a warrior princess, ready to strike at a moment's notice.

This not being the case, Naruto's libido instantly declared Sasuke's female form "Hot Hot HAWT!" and ordered blood diverted, ahem… Elsewhere, showing most prominently in his cheeks.

"Okay... That's... Very good…" Naruto managed. Sasuke blushed him… Herself, and Naruto very studiously ignored his libido's further declarations.

"Ah, so... How does this power up work?" Naruto asked, hoping to get past the awkwardness that had sprung up… Again.

"Hn..." Sasuke replied softly, looking a bit confused.

"Hey, you okay? You should probably sit down, it took me a while to get used to the difference in balance," Naruto advised. Sasuke wobbled.

"Ah... M-My body feels weird..." She took a step, and lost her balance. "AH!"

Naruto managed to get out of bed and catch her. Even this small exertion cost him dearly in pain, and with a groan and significant effort he pulled Sasuke up onto the bed next to him. He leaned back, panting softly.

Good thing she's a lot lighter now...

"Gah... You okay?" Naruto asked.

"I'm alright, just...not used to this," Sasuke replied. Looking down at her changed form, she lifted her hands up to her breasts, and squeezed them. Naruto's face turned bright red.

"H-Hey! Don't do that!"

"Why not? It's my body," Sasuke replied with a sniff. Her self-examination from that point on was more medical than anything, but it was still a girl touching herself all over in front of Naruto.

"Yeah, but-But I'm a guy! Girls don't do that in front of guys!" Naruto insisted.

"Prude," Sasuke replied. She finished examining herself as Naruto sputtered.

"Hey! I invented that jutsu! I'm not a prude!"

"It feels alright…Well, good," she amended quietly. She looked over at him.

"Good, I'm a woman, now," Sasuke spoke.

"Yeah..." Naruto looked away and rubbed the back of his head a bit awkwardly. His vision found Hinata, who had innocently turned over onto her side and was squeezing her breasts together in her all-too-thing top. He immediately looked elsewhere.

"Just uh, stay that way for a few hours, and um… Well, according to the Old Man, you'll be stuck that way…"

"A few hours…" Sasuke nodded. "Got it."

"So uh, what's this power-up anyway?" Naruto asked, not wanting to slip down into Awkwardness again. Were he satirically inclined, he might think that at this rate he might as well start looking for an apartment. As he was not so inclined, Naruto merely decided to keep the conversation going and away from any pauses that might lead to certain thoughts arising… In either of their heads.

"Before I tell you… I would like you to promise to help me with obtaining it," Sasuke said. "Please…"

Naruto blinked, and then shrugged. "Well… Sure? Why not?" He'd gone this far. Sasuke nodded.

"The 'power-up' would be the Mangekyo Sharingan," Sasuke answered.

"Eh?!" Naruto asked in disbelief.

"In order for a man to acquire it, he must murder his closest friend," Sasuke said softly, not looking at him.

"Uh huh...?" Naruto asked with a slight gulp.

"…The matrilinearally passed Mangekyo Sharingan has no such weakness," Sasuke finished. Naruto felt a great load fall off his shoulders, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He smiled at her, now convinced that Sasuke was going to remain his friend. After all, he was going this far, wasn't he? She?

"So how do you get it?" Naruto asked eagerly. Sasuke glanced at him, then rapidly looked away.

"...Er..."

Naruto blinked.

"How?"

"Ano..." Sasuke began to tap her fingers on her knee, something he… She only did when she was very, very anxious but refused to show it any other way. Naruto scowled.

"Yes...?"

Sasuke took a deep breath, the affects of which on her anatomy Naruto definitely ignored.

"It is the opposite of the male requirement."

Naruto was blank.

"... What?"

Sasuke grumbled, among the words Naruto could make out were "dense" and "idiot".

"Hey! I gave you the jutsu! Can't you at least tell me?"

"It's sex, okay?!" Sasuke blurted out angrily, cheeks flaming red.

"Wha?!"

"Sex with someone they care for," Sasuke specified. Naruto blinked, and nodded. He supposed it made sense.

"Oh… Um… So..." Naruto thought about it.

"... Who are you going to... Ya know?"

Sasuke turned her eyes back to him, and stared. Naruto stared back. The silence stretched on, until Naruto finally put it together.

"... Wait, WHAT?!"

"Dense," Sasuke mumbled.

"Wait, you mean ME?!" Naruto screamed.

"Who else is there?" Sasuke asked plainly.

" N-No way! No way! Never in a MILLION YEARS! No!" Naruto said vehemently, pulling his covers up over his body with a furious blush. Sasuke stared at him for a while, before looking away, her eyes shadowed by her bangs.

" ...Then I guess this was for nothing."

"Well, wait, c'mon! There has to be somebody else you care about for you to... Ya know... With!" Naruto insisted.

"Like?" Sasuke prompted.

"Like ... Like..." Naruto groaned and smacked his forehead. "... Okay..."

"See?" Sasuke said. Naruto lowered his head as a sudden thought occurred.

"Wait... Why didn't your mom have a Mangekyo then?"

"She didn't exactly love my Father. Theirs was an arranged marriage," Sasuke answered clinically.

"Ohhh..."

That and apparently he wasn't very good at sex according to the scroll, but Sasuke was really trying not to think about that...

"So... I'm your only option..." Naruto concluded. Sasuke nodded, and pulled herself fully onto the bed. She began to crawl up on top of him.

"H-Hey, wait a minute!" Naruto said, scooting backwards. "Wait a minute!"

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Well um, don't you have to adjust to your new form or-or something?" Naruto insisted. "I-I mean, jumping right in like this-!"

"You promised to help me," Sasuke reminded him, her hands moving to open his hospital gown. Naruto grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away as best he could.

"Y-Yeah, but-but you never said anything about s-sex!"

"Would you have promised if you had known?"

"I, er, um-W-Well hang on! Wh-What if I don't want to have sex with you?"

Sasuke pulled her hands back, and pulled her shirt up over her head. Naruto's eyes widened, firmly locked on the pair of firm, round, downright perfect breasts the Uchiha heiress sported.

"Uh, um, er, I uh, it, wha…?"

"Hmmm… I think that answers that question," Sasuke concluded. And, if her hormones right now were anything to go by, sex with Naruto might not be so bad. She felt… Something beneath her bottom, and a shiver went up her spine.

_No… Not so bad at all_, she thought, just before she felt a palm strike to the back of her neck, and everything went black.

Naruto blinked as Sasuke stiffened, then went slack, and finally fell off the bed to the floor. Hinata stood behind her, palm outstretched, her pale cheeks bright red.

"Hinata!" He grinned at her. "Thank you!" He lunged forward and hugged her. "I-I didn't think I could resist m-much longer! Thank you!"

"N-No trouble at all, N-N-Naruto-kun," Hinata managed. She was very proud of herself for not fainting at Naruto's touch.

Outside the window, Red Naruto had to stick his fist into his mouth to silence his laughter.

_Stage Two… Complete!_

* * *

_Sorry for the long period without updates-Been working on my final exams and what not. But, here you are, at long last. Many more to come soon (I hope)!_


	5. The Aftermath: Sasuke vs Hinata

The Red Mirror

_A Naruto Fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz, and other companies, and it's creator is Kishimoto Masashi. I am not writing this for profit._

_Take a concept from one manga, and take it for a spin and twist in another…_

* * *

Sasuke woke up in a secured hospital room, still in female form and with her shirt back on. Irritation flared in her breast, and she narrowed her eyes at the source.

"Hnn...

"How are you doing, Sasuke-kun?" Hinata asked kindly, if a bit nervously. Sasuke scowled deeply, Sharingan eyes threatening to emerge. However, she had more important things to worry about than vengeance.

Like _vengeance._

"Where is Naruto?"

"He's in his room, r-recovering..."

Unnoticed by either girl, Red Naruto eavesdropped at the door to the room. Blues Eyes was sleeping again, so he should be fine for now. But this was the critical phase of his plan, and he had to make sure it went over well.

Plus, he had a date tonight according to a popped clone's memories, and he couldn't miss that.

"I see," Sasuke said. She stood up and wobbled a bit, still unused to her new body. "Ah!"

Hinata caught her.

"You um...shouldn't move."

Sasuke scowled, pushing Hinata away.

"I can manage on my own."

"B-but your balance!"

Sasuke used her chakra control to stick to the floor.

"Nothing to it."

"Just requires a little-" She wobbled again. "AH!"

She slammed into the floor, again. Hinata repressed a sigh.

"It's...not that easy."

Sasuke slowly got back up.

"Fair enough... I haven't paid you back for what you did to me."

Hinata coughed.

"W-well you were trying to r-rape him and I..."

"Rape him?! Was he resisting? Besides, he promised."

"I need him... And I'm sure I can make him want to keep his promise." She wobbled her way towards the door.

Hinata edged her toe not so discreetly out to catch Sasuke's as she shuffled past.

"ACK!" She grabbed Hinata and brought her down with her.

"EEK!"

They both hit the floor with a loud thud. Red Naruto restrained his laughter, but only with significant effort.

"Well, well, well..." Sasuke hissed. She put Hinata's arm behind her back and pressed her face into the floor. "I see you're acting on your crush again. A little competition got you heated?"

Sasuke had most definitely adjusted to her situation. Hell, ultimate power in exchange for sexing up Naruto? Once she got past the brain breaking, it seemed very reasonable. Best of all-No more fangirls! Aside from Naruto's... Of which there was only one.

"Well, he's mine, Hinata. Got it? _Mine."_

"I-I won't let y-you just use him...!"

"Use him?" Sasuke scoffed. "He gets me, the most loyal wife and partner, a clan to call his own, and a wife with ultimate power, and all he has to do is cooperate. It's a completely fair bargain."

"But y-you don't love him...!"

"So? How has that prevented sex? Besides, he's too dense to figure out love. You have to be direct!"

"He doesn't need you forcing yourself on him to show him what love is!" Hinata protested. She struggled against Sasuke's grip, but even as a girl the Uchiha survivor had the upper hand in strength.

"So he should wait forever for you to gather the courage to admit something he doesn't return?" Sasuke snorted. "Che. Please." She got up, and shuffled towards the door again.

"No! He needs friends right now, n-not a lover!" Hinata said, getting up and grabbing onto Sasuke's ankles. Sasuke stumbled again.

"You little-!"

She was caught in very familiar arms, and she looked up.

"Hi there, Sasuke-chan."

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked with a blink. _Convenient!_ She wrapped her arms around his waist happily.

"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata gasped. Though by his red eyes, she could tell it was the other one. She wasn't completely sure what was going on but she got that much. That there were two Narutos.

It didn't matter though, she loved them both!

"Hnn..." Sasuke looked up at him. "Time to keep your promise, Naruto-kun~..."

"Naruto-kun!"

"Well Hinata-chan, the thing is… I promised I'd help her." He shrugged, and saw the resulting fire start up in Hinata's eyes. Oh yes, this was going to be _perfect_.

"Yes, you did. Now, carry me over to the bed and we can get right on it," Sasuke informed him in what amounted to a purr.

"Y-you can't just...!" Hinata protested.

"Sure," Red Naruto said. Hinata's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Inwardly, Red Naruto smirked.

_Here it comes…_

Hinata moved, shoving Sasuke away from Naruto.

"ACK!" The Uchiha survivor went down with a thump.

"Hinata-chan?!" Red asked, in marginally feigned surprise. Hinata herself was extremely flustered, but looked determined.

"I...I won't let you just take him away!" She turned to Red Naruto, hands clasped together earnestly. "N-Naruto-kun, I'm in love with you!"

"H-Hey! He promised me!" Sasuke squawked. She got back up and glomped onto Red. Hinata got between them, glaring death into Sasuke's eyes. The Uchiha survivor returned the favor.

"I suggest you move out of the way, girl," Sasuke hissed, Sharingan eyes spinning.

"Y-you're only interested in him because you're a girl now!" Hinata growled back, her Byakugan active.

"We understand eachother completely. You're just a pitiful fangirl!"

No. If I were a fangirl I would be doing what you are..." She took a deep breath. "I-I love Naruto-kun, but I also know him. I know that he needs more than just a loyal wife and a strong clan, or all of the things that all the other girls tried to give you and you turned down!"

"Really? Then why haven't _you_ offered any of that?" Sasuke snorted.

"Because I want to see him succeed on his own, like he wants!"

"We can succeed together, making each other stronger, just as we have been doing!" Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. "And will continue to do so _without you._"

She smirked.

"Besides, why can't I love him just as well as you can? I certainly don't _hate_ him..."

"But you never liked him until you realized that it could benefit you!"

"Untrue. I have affection beyond that... And besides... I was his first kiss," Sasuke retorted with a cruel smile.

"And that was a purely m-magical moment," Hinata returned, with what appeared to be snark. Red Naruto remained utterly composed, even though right now, if he could, he'd be laughing and cheering at his own brilliance.

"It wasn't… Ideal, but it's more than what you've had with him! Who was it who fainted just from him _looking_ at her?"

"Y-you have no idea how he makes me f-feel…" Hinata murmured. It was easier to stand in front of Red than it was the real Naruto, that was for sure. Had it been the real Naruto, Hinata would be melting.

"Gooey and weak-kneed? Please." Sasauke shoved Hinata back. "Give me a break."  
Hinata bumped into Red, who caught her.

"Hee!"

"You don't need to be so mean, Sasuke-chan," Red admonished. Sasuke snorted.

"When she's after what's _mine,_ then yes, I _need_ to be."

"If...if I showed him how I f-felt...he'd be smothered..." Hinata murmured, turning red.

"I know all about _that,_ Hyuuga," Sasuke sneered. She reached forward and yanked Hinata away from Red Naruto.

Hinata stiffened, and came to her feet right in Sasuke's face.

"You don't g-get it...You probably never will…" She stepped into Sasuke's space.

"If you really cared for him as you profess... You'd smother him without a second thought," Sasuke retorted. She pressed herself scandalously close to Hinata, her own ample bosom touching Hinata's.

"And he'd love it," Sasuke hissed. "So either you're a coward, or you're playing the shrinking violet."

"M-Maybe I am...but would you die for him?" Hinata asked quietly.

"In a second."

"I don't believe you. That would mean you'd have to give up everything, and be willing to do so, for him…" And here Hinata played her ace. "...Even revenge."

Sasuke was silent for a moment.

"... I'd give him everything, and all he has to do is give me the means for revenge."

"I'd give him everything, and all he has to do is give me nothing," Hinata replied. She managed to smile, as those words seemed to reinforce her resolve.

"Ah...you know...You're both nice girls," Red Naruto said.

"Ah?" Asked Hinata.

"Hn?" Seconded Sasuke.

"I can't see why I can't be with both of you. I mean, I have Shadow Clone Jutsu and stuff and..."

"What?!" Sasuke balked.

"...I'm alright with that," Hinata murmured. Sasuke stared at her. Hinata stared back, looking serene. Sasuke snorted.

"... Well, as long as I get what I want..."

"Well, you can still share, right?" Red Naruto suggested with a smile.

"I can do that," Hinata said.

"…As can I," Sasuke returned.

"Just as long as we can remember to share, right?" Red Naruto said with a smile

"Of course," both girls said. Though the look passed between the two girls indicated this was not going to be exactly the case.

"Good! Now, the two of you can go tell the real Naruto! He's resting up right now," Red Naruto said cheerfully.

With that, both girls stared at eachother for a second more… Before Sasuke shoved Hinata to the floor and took off as quickly as she could.

"Eek!" Hinata cried. She stared at Red Naruto, who shrugged.

"Go for it, Hina-chan," he said. He winked. "Trust me… I have a plan."

Hinata nodded, smiled, and then took off after Sasuke. The red-eyed Naruto laughed to himself.

"Stage 3… In progress, hahahahahahaha!"

* * *

Closing Naruto's door behind her, Hinata activated the genjutsu that was used during the Chuunin Exams. Having a genjutsu mistress for a jounin instructor was a wonderful thing. She turned to Naruto, who had stirred at her intrusion. He blinked the sleepiness out of his eyes, and his face lit up when he recognized her.

"Huh? Oh, hey Hinata-chan! How are you?"

Hinata flushed, and smiled back. She had fought in front of a shadow clone of him and admitted her love to said clone-She could do this now.

And she didn't have much time, given Sasuke would be getting back up soon.

"Naruto-kun...I have something to say to you…"

"Uh, what?"

There was a pounding on the door, Sasuke's chakra signature signifying just how livid she was.

"What's that racket?" Naruto asked.  
Hinata took a deep breath, her face already a bit red.

"...It's nothing. Just S-Sasuke-chan..."

"Ah..." Naruto gulped.

"Naruto! Open the door!" Called Sasuke. Naruto found himself pulling his covers up.

"H-Heck no!"

"You made a promise!" The neo-girl shouted. Naruto froze like a deer in headlights-He then wondered what headlights were, briefly, before the terror took hold again.

"I... I... It... Um..."

Hinata cut to the chase, and took a deep breath. She looked right at Naruto, every bit of her courage coursing through her as her lips spoke the words she'd wanted to ever since she'd first seen her crush's determination.

"N-Naruto-kun, I'm in love with you."

Silence reigned in the hospital room. Naruto blinked.

"Wha… Really?" He asked.

She nodded shyly.

"It's just r-really hard to express how I feel...I'm afraid of s-smothering you..."

"Ah, well, I-I'm really…" Naruto tried to think of the word. "... Flattered... I um... I don't know what to-"

The door was busted in, and Sasuke stormed in.

"Oof!" Hinata cried, as Sasuke knocked her over in her rush to glomp onto Naruto.

"Naruto! Don't listen to a word she's saying! Come on, you know me! We were friends, comrades together! We fought together! You don't need her!"

Naruto stared in total disbelief.

"You shoved two Chidoris through me and you tried to rape me!"

Sasuke considered.

"... Would you have objected to the latter?"

"YES!"

"Really~?" Sasuke asked, moving back to lift her shirt again.

"I... Uh... Bwuh..." Even if it _was_ Sasuke, it was Sasuke as an _insanely hot girl_, flashing him her _boobs_. It was hard to resist.

"I s-stopped her..." Hinata reminded him from the floor, as she slowly got up on all fours. That seemed to break the spell.

"N-No! No! I'm resisting! I'm resisting!" He pulled his covers up over his face. Sasuke pulled them down and glared.

"You made a promise!" She reminded him.

"I... I... D-Damnit..." He was trapped: Trapped by his own good nature.

Hinata, once more, came to the rescue. She reached out and grabbed Sasuke's ankle, throwing off her balance: Which succeeded only in ensuring Sasuke landed on Naruto, her bare breasts being pressed into his face.

"Mmph!" Naruto protested, as Sasuke cooed.

Seeing this flipped Hinata's trauma switch, and she was on her feet in a second.

"GET OFF HIM!"

"Mmm..." Sasuke looked over at Hinata with a smirk. "Why don't you ask him if that's what _he_ wants?"

Naruto's face was completely red, and he could only reply with the word "Bwuh."

Hinata grabbed Sasuke, and promptly defenestrated her.

"YOU BITCH!" The neo-girl shrieked, as she fell from the window and slammed into the ground below. "GAH!"

Red Naruto, watching the fireworks from below, could only grin. "Ha!"

Back in the hospital room, Hinata panted for breath.

"Haa...haa...haa..."

"H-Hinata!" Naruto hugged her tightly. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Hinata turned beet red and promptly fainted, her mind going a thousand miles a second over and over about "Naruto hugging her". Her burst of courage could only take her so far.

"Ah... Hinata? Hinata?! HEY! Hinata!" Naruto shouted, shaking her body.

On the street below, Sasuke slowly got up.

"She goes to the _top_ of the revenge list... Oh yes…" Sasuke stormed back up the wall of the hospital as quickly as she could manage… And then fell down.

"GAH!" She glared up at the wall, and tried again.

Above, Hinata woke up after her fainting spell, curled up on Naruto's bed.

"Ah…?"

Naruto was sitting in a chair, which, like the rest of the furniture in the room, had been thrown up into a barricade of the door.

"Er... Hey Hinata... Sorry, I uh, needed the other bed."

"Oh! Y-you didn't need to lay me down...I'm fine! I just, ah...um..."

"N-No, it's okay, really!" Naruto insisted. He looked over his shoulder nervously.

"I... I honestly don't get this...I thought her stayin' in Konoha for power would be a good thing... She-She never mentioned anything about sex!"

"She didn't?" Hinata asked. "But-AHH! EEEEEEEK!"

"No, she didn't..." Naruto turned to look back at the bed. "You okay Hinata? I-" He saw Sasuke, sitting pretty on the bed in Hinata's place. "Oh crap!"

"Haa... Haa... Well... Now that that's done..." Sasuke pounced on Naruto, smirking.

"AAHHH!" Screamed her prey.

"You promised!" She insisted, pinning him to the floor.

"Y-You didn't say anything about _that!"_

"Doesn't matter! You promised!"

"W-Well, does it have to be r-right now?!" Naruto pleaded, even as he tried to shove her off.

"Ahhhn~…" Sasuke moaned, and Naruto got the sinking feeling of where his hands currently were. He squeezed.

"Oooh…!"

Yep. He was right.

"As a matter of fact…" Sasuke cooed. Before she could proceed, however, a horrifying killing intent filled the room, and both ninja thought they could hear ominous music in the air.

Completely ignorant of any fourth wall breaking, Hinata's hands came up and curled around the window sill. She slowly pulled herself up, revealing eyes that were glowing white.

"... Uh oh..." Sasuke mumbled.

"...Remember when I said I would die for Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked with a deathly calm voice, as she slowly pulled herself higher. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"I remember..." She growled, and began making handseals for the Chidori.

"If to protect him...I will kill for him..." Hinata continued, her determination firm even as the Chidori screamed to life.

Naruto looked between the two kunoichi fighting over him, and it finally hit him that this was nowhere near what it had been like with Sakura and Ino fighting over Sasuke. They had remained friends for the most part. The air here was burning with pure hatred.

"H-Hey! Hang on! No killing! No dying!" Naruto tried.

"Shut up Naruto! She's mine," Sasuke hissed.

Hinata assumed the Jyuken stance, chakra forming the shape of lions around her hands. Sasuke stood with the Chidori fully charged, filling the room with ethereal light and the loud chirping of birds.

"I'm going to deal with you, once and for-Ahhhnnn…?!"

Naruto got behind her to grab Sasuke... And boy, did he ever. Still, it was keeping her from killing Hinata, which was the important part.

"Ah... L-Let's all just calm down, okay?" He managed.

Hinata was silent as she stood down at his command. Sasuke dispersed her Chidori, and closed her eyes. Naruto blushed furiously. _Well... This isn't how I ever pictured preventing a battle…_

"Mmm... Squeeze them a little harder, Naruto~..." Sasuke crooned. Naruto felt his nose about to explode in blood, but was saved when Hinata angrily slapped Sasuke's face, turning her head with the force of the blow.

"Pervert! L-Lewd woman!"

Sasuke slowly turned her face to look back at her.

"Like you wouldn't want his hands..." Sasuke grabbed said hands, and placed them on Hinata's breasts, "on yours!"

Naruto gaped, and instinct directed his hands to squeeze the Hyuuga princess's bosom. The results were predictable-Hinata's entire body glowed bright red, and she fainted dead away.

"... Uh oh..." Naruto mumbled, looking over at the hungry-eyed Sasuke.

"Mmm... Well, since she's _finally_ out of the way~..."

"GAAAAHH!" Naruto let Hinata go, and jumped out the window himself. Despite his fast healing, however, he stilled wasn't up to full strength, and landed on his head.

" ... Ow…" He groaned, and turned over to look up. He was very unhappy to see Red Naruto smirking down.

"Classy stuff," Red said. "You know, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you don't suck on toast-I mean, you've got two women hot enough for you to fight to the death over you. Gotta say that's pretty powerful man."

"Sh-Shut up!" Naruto groaned. He got to his feet, and looked up.

"How the hell did this happen…?"

"Well, I did hear about Sasuke getting a scroll from the Uchiha compound," Red supplied. "Given he turned into a woman and wants you, bad, I'm guessing she found out something related to the Uchiha Clan's women."

"It… If they have sex with someone they love, they can get the… Itachi's special eyes," Naruto said. Red nodded.

"Yeah, that would do it…"

"I don't want to do it with her though!" Naruto growled.

"Well, that's understandable," Red Naruto said. "On the other hand… It is something to keep her from running off to Orochimaru."

Naruto looked over at Red angrily. Red shrugged.

"Well, it _is…_"

"That doesn't help me with this situation!" Naruto growled.

"Course it does," Red said. "It's simple, really."

"Yeah?" Naruto asked. "How?"

"Take them both."

Dead silence.

* * *

_Sorry for the long period without updates-New school year and what not. Many more to come soon (I hope)!_


	6. The Aftermath: Naruto is so Doomed

The Red Mirror

_A Naruto Fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz, and other companies, and it's creator is Kishimoto Masashi. I am not writing this for profit._

_Take a concept from one manga, and take it for a spin and twist in another…_

_

* * *

_

Outside the hospital room, Shizune had been summoned by the nurses on station. All of them had listened to the screaming and chaos and universally decided they weren't paid enough for this shit. Not being paid enough for this shit, Shizune now pushed on the door, testing if she could enter. She frowned deeply. She could sense two chakra signatures within. Not wanting to barge into a situation without more knowledge about what was going on, she called out.

"Naruto? Hinata? What's going on? What happened?And why is your door barricaded!"

The response was a bad impression of Hinata.

"Ano... W-We'd just like some, ummm... Pr-Privacy, please Shizune-san?"

A purposely bad impression of the speaker followed.

"Yeah, I'm trying to rape Naruto here and Hinata keeps getting in my way!"

"Uweeeeeeeeeeeh!" Shizune cried out.

"Ah! Th-That's a lie! I-I want to rape him first!" Sasuke shouted.

"I DO NOT!" Hinata cried. Further violence ensued from within.

It wasn't hard for Naruto to hear this from below the window, and it snapped him out of his shock over Red Naruto's statement. He shot his doppelganger a huge glare.

"That's not helping! That's not helping AT ALL!"

Red shrugged with a smirk. "Course it is! It's an option!"

"It's crazy! It's not going to help at all!"

"Well come on man, you've got to get something worked out. I can't stand around here all night, I've got a date!"

"You son of a-" Naruto's mental process skipped, and he stared in disbelief. "Wait, what? You have a date?"

"I think I said that," Red said.

"With who?"

"Ino," Red replied smugly.

"Ino?" Naruto gaped. "But-But-!"

"What? Aren't you glad it's not Sakura-chan?" Red asked. Naruto sputtered.

"You-You're dating Ino?"

"What? Do I need your permission?"

"You're _me_! You're _supposed_ to ask for permission!" Naruto snarled.

The sound of something very big and heavy smashing emerged from the window, interrupting them again.

"I'm not trying to rape Naruto-k-kun!" Hinata cried.

"Of COURSE you are! You just waited until he was good and sedated!" Sasuke snarled.

"I'm trying to stop you, you-you _hussy_!" Hinata shouted back.

Red winced. "Ooh…"

"... BITCH!" Shrieked Sasuke, and she slapped Hinata hard enough to be heard. Both Narutos winced.

"Clock is ticking, Blue Eyes," Red said. "Gotta save them, right?"

Naruto swore loudly, and turned to climb back up to the hospital room window. Maybe he'd get thrown out again, but he couldn't just let them kill eachother!

Red checked his watch, and looked back up calmly. He had a little time left: Best to see how the original handled this. It might be fun.

Naruto made it to the window, and entered the room. Hinata had Sasuke in a headlock, and was pounding her fist against Sasuke's head. Apparently the two had given up on ninja skills and had just decided to brawl the old fashioned way.

"H-Hey, wait a second! Hold on! Cut it out!" Naruto cried.

"OW! OW! OW! GRR!" Sasuke responded by biting Hinata's arm. The pale eyed girl cried out.

"AH!" She lashed out with a kick between Sasuke's legs, as the neo-girl stumbled away. Sasuke yelped, and turned around, eyes burning in fury and pain.

"Hyuuga SLUT!" Sasuke reached out and grabbed a hold of Hinata's nipples, violently twisting them. Naruto stared as Hinata reached out and yanked hard on Sasuke's hair.

"Uhh… Y-You should really…" Naruto tried.

"RAPIST!" Hinata snarled.

"WHORE!"

"SLUT!"

"Hello?" Naruto waved his arms. The two women failed to notice him. Naruto thought for a bit, before he mentally snapped his fingers at a plan.

"Oh God, I broke my leg falling out the window!" He cried, collapsing to the floor. Hinata gasped, and looked over at him.

"Naruto-kun!" She cried.

"You stupid bitch, you made him break his leg!" Sasuke snarled, slapping Hinata. Hinata's face went red in rage.

"I BROKE HIS LEG?"

The girls once more descended into furious combat, and Naruto blinked in disbelief.

"Kage freaking Bunshin no jutsu," he sighed. Four clones appeared, and two each grabbed the fighting girls, pulling them apart. Naruto looked between them.

"Look, what the hell is it going to take to stop you from fighting?" Naruto asked. Hinata was panting as she glared angrily at Sasuke. Sasuke growled back. Naruto was able to keep his hormones from directing his eyes to the fact their clothing was so torn and so ripped that they were both barely decent.

"Nothing much," Sasuke said, almost calmly. Naruto smiled, until she spoke again: "Have sex with me, and father my clan. Oh, and let me tear this bitch's eyes out!"

"You're so selfish," Hinata admonished with a frown. Sasuke huffed.

"At least I'm honest in my intentions, _wallflower."_

"Whore!"

"Hypocrite!"

Naruto felt he was out of control of the situation. Hell, he didn't think he'd been IN control from the start. Bad guys he could just punch until they stopped, but he really, really didn't want to hit a girl… Even if one of said girls was Sasuke.

"All right, that's it, I have HAD ENOUGH!"

The door to the hospital room was blasted in by a powerful punch, and Tsunade herself entered after. Shizune, looking extremely embarrassed, followed silently behind.

"Baa-chan! Thank God!" Naruto grinned.

"H-Hokage-sama...!" Hinata cried.

Sasuke just scowled. Tsunade took in the sight of the destroyed hospital room, sighed and shook her head.

"You two…"

"H-Hey! Baa-chan, don't be too rough on them! S-Sasuke's not thinking straight and Hinata was just protecting me! Honest!" Naruto tried.

"Hinata, thank you for doing your assigned duty. Look at the mess you two-" Tsunade began, but Hinata, confused and angry, interrupted.

"Um...you were the one who-"

"-Made me make," she finished.

"...Oh," Hinata said softly. Tsunade sighed.

"There is only one way to settle this."

"How?" Sasuke asked.

"You two will just have to try to win over Naruto the old fashioned way," Tsunade said flatly, looking between them. "No fighting, no kidnapping, and no sexual assault."

Sasuke scowled, but slowly nodded.

"You'll just have to court him the old fashioned way," Tsunade finished.

"Y-yes Hokage-sama," Hinata said, smiling softly. She was the Hyuuga heiress, traditional courting and all that jazz was second nature to her! Well, at least that's what she'd been taught, but she had her whole clan to draw on for that! Sasuke had none!

… Which made Hinata feel very guilty, having such thoughts.

"... Yes Hokage-sama," Sasuke said quietly. Damnit, where could she seek advice for that?

"Just so that it's fair, Sasuke-chan, you're going to take a few courses in feminine refinement," Tsunade ordered. Sasuke frowned, but nodded.

"Yes Hokage-sama..." She said quietly.

"You're a woman of the Uchiha Clan and you're going to act like one."

"Yes Hokage-sama," Sasuke repeated. She gave Hinata a little smirk at this and any guilt Hinata was feeling evaporated. She glared back at Sasuke, electricity seeming to spark and crackle between them. Naruto, who had felt a rush of hope at Tsunade's entrance, now felt even more terrified.

"Now, Naruto-kun, go with Shizune to another room. You two? Clean up this mess you made me make," Tsunade ordered.

Naruto nodded frantically. "Y-Yes Baa-chan!" He made to rush out, but at Tsunade's look he coughed and turned to the two girls.

:Ah... Thanks Hinata-chan, again! Er... See you later, Sasuke... chan! Get better soon," he said. Sasuke smirked.

"Mmhm... See you later," she drawled in a sexy tone and a wink. Naruto's face turned red and he ran out as fast as he could. Tsunade shook her head and glared. The Shadow Clones poofed into smoke, leaving the two girls alone.

"...You're not going to win," Hinata said firmly, eyeing her rival with the same determination she'd shown Neji during their bout at the Chuunin Exam Preliminaries. Sasuke smirked back.

"We'll see… We'll see," she said.

"Girls! Get to work!" Tsunade ordered.

"Y-Yes Hokage-sama!"

"Yes Hokage-sama…"

Naruto shuddered, as though he heard them.

_Somehow, maybe saving Sasuke isn't all it was cracked up to be…_

And Red Naruto, far below, smiled at his handiwork… He casually checked his watch.

"Shit! I'm late!" He gasped, and ran for his date as fast as he could. Even he wasn't perfect.

* * *

_Short bit, here. Truth be told I'm thinking this story doesn't have anything else to go with. It started serious, but now it's… Here. And I'm not sure where to go. Oh well… It was fun while it lasted._


End file.
